Which of Cougar Town's Freakish New Titles Do You Prefer?
Creator Bill Lawrence has planned on retitling Cougar Town for months now, and while his original choice of C-Town has our vote, E! reports that the suits at ABC are considering a more drastic name change, including one that's so dramatic it actually... is insane. Insane. Let's break down the weird new titles of Cougar Town together, as a traumatized family.
· Friends and Family
Inoffensive but also unassuming. It sounds like a Dinah Shore program set in a kitchen, a failed Ellen DeGeneres sitcom, or a one-woman show starring Carol Burnett. Luckily for this title, Cougar Town is ostensibly about friends and family. There's also the Courteney Cox Friends tie-in, which makes this choice desperate but understandable.
Score: 4 (out of 10)
· Friends and Neighbors
A little weird. "Friends" and "neighbors" aren't opposing forces on Cougar Town, and much of the time they're the same thing. Nothing about this reminds me of the show. It smacks of rejiggered Julius Caesar monologues or the preamble to Jerry Springer's Final Thoughts.
Score: 3
· The Cul de Sac Neighborhood
Crazy goggles strapped on! We've reached the point in the list where Japanese electronics companies have been hired to offer titles. I can't even tell if Cul de Sac Neighborhood is redundant or just senseless. Rule #1 of renaming TV series, ABC: Do not use titles that sound like ransom notes left by illiterate criminals. "Deer Mr. or Misses: We stol yer kid from the cul-de-sac neighborhood. Plz leave $1 bil in a sootcase by da arcade. FANKU."
Score: 1
· The End of the Street
The End of the Street would make (and likely is) a fine Shel Silverstein poem, but as a sitcom title it's wordy and, uh, fatalistic? No one wants to see a cougar licking her wounds at life's dead end.
Score: 3
· The Neighborhood
Sounds like English, anyway! Weeee. Peabody committee on line two.
Score: 4
· Jules Neighborhooding
I give you western civilization's greatest word pairing. Jules effing Neighborhooding. That is real! That is real. Is Neighborhooding Jules's maiden name? Her Magillicutty? Or is it another non-word dreamt up by the innovators at Sensei-Vox Electronics Fun Unlimited? ABC, you are tickling me too hard today. Let's go neighborhooding sometime.
By the way, I've said "Neighborhooding" 10 times out loud. So I guess it's the big winner!
Score: 10
Courteney Cox May Star in a New 'Friends' [E! Online]
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Comments
what about "The Family Jules"??
These titles really make you appreciate the title "cougar town". If they really do need to change it, how about "The BV club" (botox & viagra)
How about "Canceled"?
what about "Still Friends... With No Black People... Still. Seriously."
You forgot to include "ABC's..." before the titles, and "on ABC" after.
eg. ABC's Jules Neighborhooding, Wednesdays on ABC!
You beat me to it!
Why not just call it what it is? "The Courtney Cox Show"
These titles are worse than dentistry without novacaine.
Why not, "Courtney Town"? - Yes it's as nonsensical as the other titles, but you have the same syllables, cadence, and initials as the original.
I really like shows that feature casual alcoholism, so maybe something about that for the title? Ooh, Fine Vintage. That's a good one. I would also like to see some sounds of blackness brought to Jules' breakfast nook.
"That Show That's On After Modern Family That You Never Watch"
I'm Kristen's original source for the Cougar Town thing, but the list got screwed up in translation. Apparently E! e-mail thingy squished out all my line breaks, and she parsed the list incorrectly when she posted it. I'm e-mailed her back, but it hadn't been corrected last time I checked. The correct list of possible names is as follows:
1) Friends and Family
2) Friends and Neighbors
3) The Cul de Sac
4) Neighborhood Jules
5) Neighborhooding
6) The End of the Street
7) The Neighborhood
Also, keeping "Cougar Town" was discussed as an option.
Wow, thank you for the tip. "Neighborhooding" is still plenty insane though. Will update!
Yeah--that one is pretty awful (not as crazy as "Jules Neighborhooding" would have been). I gave my share of snark when I filled out the survey, and suggested that someone needed to find "Neighborhooding" in a dictionary. Any dictionary. I actually kind of like "Neighborhood Jules" (although it doesn't make as much sense as the "Family Jules" title that has been discussed previously (and which was not included as an option on the survey)), and said it was my #2 choice behind just keeping "Cougar Town." About which, if I took the gist of questions correctly, ABC is seriously concerned about viewers being "morally offended" by the title "Cougar Town." Guess no one at NBC is doing a survey on "Friends with Benefits"?!
If a viewer knows the meaning of "Cougar" then they have been visiting places more morally offensive than ABC...
"Jules Town" would probably be a good title. Instead of getting away from the word "town" altogether, ABC should try to stick with it. Replace "cougar" with "Jules" and you have yourself a decent show.
Is "After- Cougar Town" taken?
Why don't they keep the name, but cast John Cougar Mellencamp as himself, who wins the election for the town's mayor. His campaign slogan was "I Was Born in a Small Town", which he ends every sentence with during his mayoral run.
Score. You now run ABC.
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