What's On: The Bachelorette Embraces Oily Nudity

On the next segment of Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky's world tour, she makes her potential paramours strip down and oil up. Why? Because we've earned it, see. All those weeks of people named "Chris N." or "Jonathan K." or "Toonces J." pretending to compete were silly children's games compared to the gladiatorial stuff we're about to behold. I'm prepared to give a thumbs-up ahead of time!

Persons Unknown [NBC, 8 PM]

A taxi picks up Janet, and the lucky lady can bring along a guest of her choice. Interesting. The rest of the group frets about who else may get to leave town. This mystery miniseries has been fun so far -- and if it's going to stick around until its Labor Day finale, it needs better ratings. Tune in!

Last Comic Standing [NBC, 9 PM]

The semifinals begin. You might remember contestant James Adomian from his work in that Entourage parody we posted a couple months ago. Finally, we have a reason to root for this godforsaken show.

The Bachelorette [ABC, 8 PM]

In the next leg of Ali's nonsense world tour, the group visits Istanbul. Only five of the seven remaining guys move on to the next stop, Portugal, but until then they'll have to slather themselves in oil and wrestle each other. Not kidding. DVR it thrice, just in case.

Mrs. Doubtfire [FMC, 8 PM]

This Golden Globe winner for Best Picture (not kidding once again!) stars Robin Williams as a divorced father who dresses as a kindly old nanny in order to be near his kids. Sally Field plays his harried ex-wife because duh. The 1993 comedy also picked up an Oscar for Best Achievement in Makeup; be sure to look out for Harvey Fierstein as Robin Williams's makeup artist brother.