Joan Rivers: 'You Never Dwell on the Success'

Joan Rivers probably works harder in 2010 than every standup comic who ever called her groundbreaking. In the new documentary Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work, the legend repeatedly caws that she is no artifact. She's riding creaky elevators down New York cellars and wisecracking to crowds. She's on TV. She's selling a stage show overseas. And she's never satisfied with her 50 years of performing -- there's too much money to be made, too many opportunities to pounce upon, and too many disappointments to overcome. She is work. But as the film proves, she is also a scratchy sage who can articulate the thrills and pitfalls of ambition better than any of her colleagues in the mic-brandishing game.

Movieline phoned the 77-year-old comic great yesterday to discuss the A Piece of Work, the flattery of Johnny Carson's resentment, her favorite comedians, and the failures (including the suicide of her husband Edgar) she refuses to forget.

You've done a few Q&As with audiences to promote the documentary. After all these years of candor, what do people still want to know about you?

Well, is my beauty true? They always want to know about that. They always want to know about my beauty, my great natural beauty. No, I don't know. Every time and Q&A is so different, which is kind of interesting. Because you kind of think, "Well, I've heard it all. I've been asked everything." And then someone will pop up with something different.

You make the claim in the movie that certain documentaries in recent years don't tell us much about their subjects. What does A Piece of Work tell us about you?

You certainly learn what it's like to be in the business and slugging it out. And I think you see, which I think is interesting, someone that's quote-unquote "famous" still down there in the trenches saying, "I need a job. Can I get this?" All that kind of stuff. So I think that is a nice statement that comes out in the movie.

Do you learn anything new about yourself when you watch the movie?

Oh, no. No. Except that my ass is so big. So upsetting.

There's an incredible moment when we lay eyes on your magnificent card catalog of jokes from years and years of stand-up. Do you have favorite tabs or categories in that file?

Yeah. That's a very good question. "Age" goes on forever. "Plastic surgery" goes on forever. "Dating" goes on forever. You go through, and you can see exactly what I'm interested in. "Diets" go on forever. It's so funny that you keep writing jokes about certain subjects. I've been talking about age probably since, or certainly since the '80s. Because it's just a thing that every woman is so desperately frightened of. Or not happy with. I remember when I hit 24, I thought, "Oh my God, I'm 24." You know? "This is awful. Awful."

Do you miss talk show hosting much? There are people who host a show for a single year and remember it as a career-high thrill.

Oh, I love it. I love it because you get a chance to meet everybody and ask them questions. It's just so great. You read a book, and you say, "Can you get that person on?" And they're on! So I love talk shows, and hosting, and doing a talk show.

When you were offered your own show and Johnny Carson refused to talk to you thereafter, were you at all flattered that he must've been threatened by you?

People forget that this is a business where everyone is competing. Everybody is very tough. No one ever got to the top by being Mrs. or Mr. Nice Guy. The minute I became a competitor to him, he was out to destroy me. Look at Leno and Conan, that just happened. Conan went, "Boo hoo, boo hoo, boo hoo, look what you did to me." He then turned around and did it to George Lopez. No one tends to notice that part of the equation. He pushed George Lopez out of his spot and took it over.

In the movie, you discuss how proud you are to be an actress -- that it's a job you take seriously. Do you have a favorite acting experience?

My favorite acting -- well, I've been on Broadway three times. I adored a play I wrote called Sally Marr... and Her Escorts, which was about Lenny Bruce's mother. I'm still going to get that back on. I'm still going to get that back on 10 years later. I loved working Neil Simon on Broadway Bound. So many plays. So many great parts for actresses.

Were there ever roles you wish you got to play, but didn't?

Anything Linda Lavin's ever done. That means nothing to you -- your movies. Anything Meryl Streep has ever put her fingerprints on. Oh, I would've loved to have done Mother Courage. She has the most amazing career. Movies and television and Broadway and -- my God.

It's interesting that you bring up Sally Marr and Broadway Bound, two of your great successes, when in the film you dote on one of your Broadway failures from early in your career. You keep claiming you don't want to repeat that failure. Do you never think about your triumphs?

Never. You never think about your successes because this is a business where you can have 15 years of success, and it can be taken away from you in one day, as it has several times from me. So you never dwell on the success. You always worry about the failures. That's what gives you the fuel to go on.

It's apparent that female comedians give you more credit than males. Can you talk about some of the men who openly appreciate what you've done for comedy and expressed it to you? And particular guys who haven't?

I truly don't know. Nobody gives me credit for anything, which is OK. I don't want to be given credit. I don't want to be put on the shelf. Go f*ck yourselves. I say it in the movie, and I'll say it here again: Not interested. I'm down there slugging it out, and I can match any of you. Maybe not Chris Rock because he's so brilliant.

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