Would-Be Food Network Villainess In Search of Good Home

In last night's third episode of The Next Food Network Star, Dzintra Dzenis more than lived up to her burgeoning reputation as the reality-TV villain of the future. She called last week's experience of being in the bottom group of contestants among the "worst of her life," vowing that she would not endure such indignity in this go-around. And damn if she didn't give her all to keeping her promise. But there she was again, explaining and defending herself in equal measure until the judging panel expressed its vote of no confidence for the last time. Yes, Dzintra was cast-off. So: Does anyone need a classically-trained, condescending, shushing, tear-streaked chef who just knows she can do this? Because Dzintra is your gal, and I miss her already.

In addition to the illuminating video below, find herewith a few quick highlights from Sunday's episode to help illustrate what you can look forward to:

· The evening's Camera Challenge involved the chefs whipping up a meal based on randomly drawn movie genres. At least in impressionistic terms, Dzintra was leaps and bounds ahead of the competition: After drawing "Action," she smiled: "I think of a car chase, so I thought of pasta because it swirls around and around and around..." Hence Winding Car-Chase Pasta, which the judges liked fine but for that overbearing "Like me!" presentation to camera. No go, DD.

· The Star Challenge took the gang to The Highlands, where they walked a faux red carpet to demonstrate their ability to interact with fans and the press. Frankly, for pure horror, Dzintra had nothing on Paul, who acknowledged his high-bounding, "30-cups-of-coffee" approach might have been a little overboard. Our heroine, meanwhile, pirouetted and pranced, light as one of her Le Cordon Bleu souffles. "Dzintra likes to dance!" she said. "Dzintra loves to twirl!" The maniacal glimmer in her eye only served to confirm this.

· Randomly paired up with Aria for the next challenge, our heroine was responsible for a mushroom dish while Aria handled blueberries. They were catering some event for songstress Colbie Caillat and would provide two individual meals and collaborate on a third. Dzintra knew Aria lacked any confidence in her since their clash two weeks ago, when the injured Dzintra threw Aria under the bus for screwing up her dessert -- a course that was so beneath her in the first place. Not surprisingly, nothing had improved. A few lines from their latest pairing:

--"Why should I keep having to justify my decisions to her?" Dzintra sneered. (Aria's more dignified take: "We're not flowing.")

--"Aria's always the one everyone loves. Will they ever see what I can do?"

--"Why can't I be the first one who speaks?"

--"Shhhh!" (Aria's priceless response: "She shushed me!")

You tell her, Dzintra! The judges weren't happy about it ether, however, arguing that her curbing of Aria amounted to "not presenting yourself like a star." Cue the whine: "Oh no!" Dzintra said. "That's not how I meant it at all!"

Moments later, faced with sudden death opposite Paul -- who would inherit Dzintra's crown as the NFNS competitor you love to hate if only I had any confidence he could last longer than another week -- our heroine was booted. Retreating the the holding room where her fellow competitors were gathered, she confirmed her ouster. "Oh! I'm so sorry," came the plaint from a castmate. "Oh, no you're not," Dzintra cried.

No, honey. "Sorry" is just the start. Call me!