What's On: Groundling Beef

Top Chef Masters ventures to the heart of live comedy this week, serving up succulence to a panel of picky (and quippy) critics. Hopefully, the unending laughs will shield us from missing Padma Lakshmi so damn much, because if there's one thing Padma's good at, it's staring vibrant personalities in the face and not emoting so much as a grim snarl. I hurt for her stoicism already.

Top Chef Masters [Bravo 10 PM]

The four remaining contestants head to the famous Groundlings theater, the home of comedians like Will Ferrell, Phil Hartman, and Kathy Griffin. There, the chefs base dishes on three buzzwords. This is the kind of challenge that makes me miss old Project Runway -- remember the episode where Uli Herzner made a party dress for the 50th time in a row and based it on the buzzwords "fun," "life," and "adventure"? And it was like, "Uli, are all your designs based on 'fun,' 'life,' and 'adventure'? Is that your secret?" Anyway. I still think about it.

Happy Town [ABC, 10 PM]

Rumors of the Magic Man's return circulate after Rachel suddenly disappears. Tommy gains a confidant while searching for her, and Handsome Dan announces that he's leaving Haplin. It's difficult to jump into a mystery serial when you haven't watched from the beginning, but the canceled Happy Town is your only choice for scripted drama on primetime tonight. Sam Neill wants your love!

So You Think You Can Dance [Fox, 9 PM]

The auditions head to Chicago and Las Vegas. Hopefully we can discover more of the colors on Adam Shankman's spectrum of critiques, which so far just includes "openly laughing" and "openly weeping." Oh, J/K. The judges on SYTYCD are some of the most qualified on TV, and they haven't been contaminated by a DeGeneres-like force from the outside yet. Cherish this lineup while you can.

The African Queen [TCM, 9:30 PM]

It doesn't get better than Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn, and here they star in John Huston's epic classic about a belligerent tramp-steamer pilot who accompanies a dignified missionary in fleeing a Kaiser's gunboat. This garnered Bogart an Oscar, but Hepburn earned only a nomination. It wasn't until 1968's Guess Who's Coming to Dinner that she picked up her second Academy Award after scoring her first in 1933 for Morning Glory.