The Hills Reality Check: Filling the Speidi Void

For the second consecutive week, Spencer and Heidi were absent from The Hills. To replace the abhorrent couple, who were rumored to have split late last week, producers introduced a few leather handbags, a smiling brunette named McKaela, and Kristin's trainer. It was a fair substitution. Per usual, here are the realest and fakest moments of last night's episode "Ghost From the Past."

REAL: Asking a Girl if She's Seen the Movie Can't Hardly Wait is the Worst Pick-Up Line Ever

Let Kristin's unsuccessful manhunt be a lesson to all of you single ladies and gentlemen out there: never let your producers screen the the guys who are allowed to approach you at a crowded Venice bar, because they will let the drunken ones with no game breathe vodka fumes into your face and open with the line, "Have you ever seen the movie Can't Hardly Wait?"

Even though Kristin laughed in the face of the poor, misguided soul -- and wingwoman Stacey shooed him away with the dismissal, "It was really, really great to meet you. It was really great to meet you." -- viewers had to agree. That was the worst pick-up line ever.

FAKE: Audrina Had "No Idea" That Justin Bobby's Band Would Be Playing at the Viper Room the Night That She Asked Her Friends to "Check Out the Bands at the Viper Room"

You know when you plan an entire night around seeing a few bands play? And you invite your best friends, call over a make-up crew and wardrobe assistant to get you looking just "rock enough" for those few bands and then carpool with a camera crew to the venue only to realize that your off-again bad boy boyfriend Justin Bobby is playing that night? And it's completely a surprise? If you answered "yes," then you will relate to Audrina's fake moment last night.

Audrina, Lo and Stephanie cozied into a booth to watch a group called Purple Melon, but after this generic band left the stage, a crowd of paid extras started shouting around the trio, "Ed Stanley! Ed Stanley! Ed Stanley!"

"Who is this Ed Stanley?" viewers at home were wondering as vague recognition washed over Audrina's face. This was her cue. She turned to her girlfriends and gasped, "I have to leave. Justin's band is up there. Like, this is really awkward."

Seconds later, all was fine again, when producers reminded her that she couldn't leave. Audrina conceded, "Well, if I"m going to stay, I need a drink." Cut to three conveniently positioned cameras capturing Justin Bobby as he wailed on the drums for a solid minute. The mystery was solved: Justin Bobby was the ghost from the past. And he had a band.