What's On: Talent or No Talent

Howie Mandel replaces David Hasselhoff on the panel of America's Got Talent tonight alongside Piers Morgan and Sharon Osbourne. If Howie's air-fistpumps to a fire-juggling troupe isn't your thing, more traditional choreography and slapstick awaits you in the rest of tonight's lineup.

America's Got Talent [NBC, 8 PM]

The fifth season kicks off with auditions in Los Angeles. Will a Susan Boyle type emerge? Who knows! Watch as Sharon Osbourne stops midway through her first critique to ask the entire audience, "Does something smell like bad cologne and Burger King in here?" while Piers Morgan sneaks complimentary fries from his sleeve.

Glee [Fox, 9 PM]

The club received disheartening news, but that doesn't dissuade Quinn from embracing her soulful self with the help of Mercedes. Will and Sue's battle of one-liners and hair gel jokes culminates as Will momentarily topples Sue. I'm sure she'll take that quite well.

Wipeout! [ABC, 8 PM]

To put an exclamation point on the end of this highbrow night, we have Wipeout!, ABC's answer to Spike TV's Most Extreme Elimination Challenge that makes average contestants cross mud pits, scale rope ladders, and survive an obstacle course from hell. It's like if American Gladiators only auditioned Dorito devotees.

Hoosiers [VS., 9 PM]

Why aren't there more basketball movies? Because people are still afraid to make them after the perfection of Hoosiers. Gene Hackman stars as a redemption-needy basketball coach in Indiana hoping to patch together a winning team. The late, great Dennis Hopper earned an Oscar nom for his supporting role as the drunkard father of one of the teammates.