Can True Beauty's DJ David Provide a Fix for Jersey Shore Withdrawal?

Since Jersey Shore's first season ended, we've been given plenty of episode marathons to quench our thirst for hair gel and horrifying tans. ABC must have sensed our anxiety, because one contestant on the new season of True Beauty serves as a well-lacquered proxy for our wayward friends The Situation and DJ Pauly D. Might this gelled newbie match ranks with the Seaside Heights greats?

True Beauty is a hoax reality show like Joe Millionaire where the contestants aren't in on the show's real judging conceit. Instead of the "Face of Vegas" beauty contest Carson Kressley and Beth Ostrosky pretend to host, True Beauty is about backstage footage -- eliminations are based on the hidden actions of the contestants, or how "beautiful" they are when the cameras are off. This brings us to DJ David, one of the most gloriously vain contestants in recent television, who barely survived episode one. If he sticks around, he could be the kind of melanoma risk that makes our hearts pitter patter.

DJ David's got a number of Situation-making qualities. His quotes from episode one alone are boardwalk-rattling soul-stirrers:

"I'm David. I'm a house DJ and astrologer. I'm a zero-degree Leo. I'm able to express my soul without that rising filter."

"I have problems even walking outside to get the paper without my hair done."

"I think my favorite assets are just my whole body."

"When I'm in the mirror, I'm constantly talking to myself to make sure I'm looking my best."

He's got a while before he ruins the environment with hairspray like our beloved DJ Pauly, but I think DJ David's well on his way to a love affair with America. In the clip below, check out how David concludes his epic hair-spiking sessions with a stoic smirk and a hard clap. That's the GTL Secret Society signature!