Three Alternate Lost Endings Not Actually Real, Only Slightly Funny

With the way ABC had been publicizing the three alternate endings of Lost that were airing during Jimmy Kimmel's special post-finale celebration, you would have been right to assume they were legit. Or, as legit as those alternate season three endings with Sawyer and Desmond in Locke's coffin were -- a red herring to throw off the scent of any leak-happy crew member. Alas, it was all just one final long con. The "alternate endings" -- featuring the now-radio silenced duo of Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse -- were nothing more than jokes. And not even particularly good ones: Did Kimmel really trot out Bob Newhart for a spoof on the Newhart ending? And Jeff Probst for a Survivor ending? Get worse. Still, anything that puts Jorge Garcia's Hurley in the Tony Soprano booth at a diner deserves the attention of your eyeballs. Watch the "endings" after the jump.

A couple of things: 1.) Despite being total hams, Lindelof and Cuse are actually pretty funny there, especially in the writers' room interstitials. 2.) Have the musical rights for "Don't Stop Believin'" gotten so prohibitive that Kimmel decided to use "Come Sail Away" for his spoof of The Sopranos ending instead? Or was "Come Sail Away" a nod to the fact that Lost takes place on an Island?

Also: Who built the damn statue?

[YouTube via Pop Candy]