More Than 23 Questions About The Lost Series Finale, Answered!

Where did Smokey learn to smash heads with a rock like that?

A frowning Mother approaches her Boy in Black holding a large, bloodied stone in her hand. The Boy bursts into tears. "I learned it by watching you!" The look in Mother's eyes tells us she knows that perhaps she hasn't been an ideal parent, but as a single mom charged with protecting the Light, she did the best she could.

In your rush to anoint "You were the obvious choice" as the greatest Lost scene ever, were you perhaps overlooking "Jack and Smokey fight with everything on the line atop a crumbling cliff"? It was the climactic action scene of the entire series, you know.

There were many, many wonderful scenes within the first two hours and twenty minutes of the finale. But you're probably right, this was the best of them. Knifeplay! Fisticuffs! The Clash Of The No Longer Immortal Titans! There could be only one, and we think we all knew who that had to be.

[RIP Smokey, aka, The Man In Black, aka Mother's First Choice, aka The Smoggy Fist Of Death ???-2007]

Jack's "appendix" scars: The stigmata of a Shephard who sacrificed all so that his flock could be free, or just a fleshy souvenir of a pretty epic knife fight?

We generally err on the side of obvious symbolism.

When Jack kicked Smokey off the cliff, what might have been a bad-ass thing to say?

"Remember when I said I'd kill you last? I lied. This makes no sense in context, because all of the other people I've killed have more or less been accidental, I was kind of stumbling my way through this leadership and self-sacrifice thing, but any kind of acknowledgment of the gravity of this moment would be better than just my heavy breathing."

Which of the Flash Sideways Losties had the best wake-up?

We're going with Juliet and Sawyer's combination Apollo bar heist/tearful kiss goodbye in the Jughead bombhole. But how they didn't immediately lock themselves in an empty hospital room for a round of Detective Ford Interrogates The Naughty OB-GYN About Her Role In Stealing His Heart Back On The Island is beyond us. Maybe figuring out you're dead extinguishes your sex drive?

How did ABC not pick up Detective Ford, LAPD to series?

The schedule started to feel a little cop-heavy with the premiere of Rookie Blue just around the corner. But they loved the backdoor pilot.

Can you explain Miles's belief system in a single sentence?

"I don't believe in a lot of things, but I do believe in duct tape."

Now you can drink your Protector Of The Light Initiation Sacrament out of an old plastic water bottle? Have we no Magic Water drinking standards anymore?

You're not going to be happy to learn that Protector Hurley, an even more liberal light-guardian than Jack, passed on his sacred post to his successor by having him gulp immortality from a dirty Chuck Taylor.

Inappropriate receptacles aside, on a scale of 4 to 42, how moving was Jack's passing on of his briefly held Protector status to the humbled, overwhelmed goofball who idolized him?

42, plus an unexplained Egyptian glyph we hope means "times infinity."

Holy crap, why haven't you mentioned that LAPIDUS IS ALIVE? Gloriously, improbably alive?

Because we never doubted it*, nor did we doubt that he'd get that cranky old Ajira bird in the air somehow, no matter how many rolls of duct tape and random sh*t welded to the fuselage with an acetylene torch it took to get 'er up.

[*This is a lie. How the hell did he survive? He definitely died on that sub.]

Why doesn't Claire want to leave the island?

She doesn't want to say it, because she already fears the stigma of mental illness, but she now prefers the skullbaby to Aaron. The crazy heart wants what it wants.

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