Celebrity Apprentice Finale: Winner Bret Michaels' 5 Most Unprofessional Moments
Color me shocked, boys and girls. What's the secret to becoming Donald Trump's trusted, uber-professional apprentice? Simple: Be the most (lovably) unprofessional contestant in Celebrity Apprentice history. Tah-dah! After the show's giant finale and parade of arbitrary judging, Trump gave Bret Michaels the Celebrity Apprentice victory over runner-up Holly Robinson Peete for one ostensible reason: He was brave to attend the live finale just days after another staggering health setback. Look, I admire the hell out of Bret Michaels for going through with the taping, but does that mean he should've beaten Holly? After her record-high fund-raising and strong leadership? No way. However, I happen to love Bret Michaels, so let's toast Trump's newest yes-man with a retrospective of his most unprofessional Celebrity Apprentice moments.
· Hitting on fellow contestants
During the 24-Hour Fitness challenge, Bret gave expert analysis on competitor Maria Kanellis' ass: "I'm just a man that wants to learn about physical education. That's why I'm staring at Maria's buns of steel." You were foolish enough to believe that language belonged only on Rock of Love Bus. You may leave the boardroom.
· Inventing wiener choreography
In the same episode, Bret helped get creative juices flowing (yikes) by creating groupie-themed dance moves. My favorite pose of all? The one he called "Pump up the wiener," wherein a participant gyrates wildly as if fornicating with a jean-skirted mother of four from Tuscaloosa.
· A slight problem with getting to the point
Bret's leadership skills were lovable, libidinous, and... ineffective. During the deodorant commercial shoot, he took 15 minutes to explain his concept, which involved a doorbell, hitting Clyde Drexler with a basketball, weird editing, and another 14 minutes of making "director" hand gestures.
· Yelling at women to strip
In the premiere episode, Bret and the dudes won their challenge and sat in the lobby watching Trump fire Carol Leifer. But as Carol Leifer and Sharon Osbourne sparred, Bret told the two to "Take your clothes off for the cat fight." I had to lower my bandanna over my eyes that time.
· Creating a senseless Snapple commercial
While the rest of Bret's final Snapple presentation -- including the diabetes charity tie-in advertorial and his new Snapple flavor label "Trop-a-Rocka" -- went well, his Snapple commercial fell flat. He was so determined to get a dolly shot of himself holding the Snapple bottle that the coherence of his commercial suffered. Teammate Summer Sanders was the first to notice this, of course, because guess what? She's the only contestant you'd ever actually hire.
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Holly may have won the most amount of money ever but she also lost two other tasks of which she was project manager.
Any task where Bret was project manager, however unconventional he is, he won. Two solid wins beats one great win and two losses.
He owns up to his mistakes and doesn't try to pretend to be anything he's not.
Holly is amazing but so is Bret.
He deserved the win.
Trump doesn't succumb to sympathy votes. He had Snapple match the donation, so the contestant who didn't get the title would still get the money. If it was sympathy alone, then Bret would have gotten the money, not the title.
You must have been watching a different show.
a. Holly was BORING- her ads were boring - her ideas were boring - the only reason why she could be in a boardroom was because she was mean and only could think about profit margins.This made it interesting that she couldn't fire an actor = really? She must have finally realized that she was coming across as an evil person. She didn't do a whole lot on her own on any challenge ---and let's not forget her sea foam "zen" room.
b. BRET had drive - had marketable ideas - and could work well with others. He knows his weaknesses (and unlike Holly, admits them). Yes, he's a flirt but it's all part of his "persona". Even unattractive women get flirted with - and it makes them feel better about themselves. Bret is a really funny guy.
Holly lost two tasks - Bret won all two tasks. simple. So, she has more rich friends and raises money FOR A LIVING - no job, nada. Holly's one major job in the last twenty years was to "raise" a family (wondering how many people "helped" her) and marry a multi-millionaire.
While Bret had to juggle concerts, illness, familyh and show - as well as make a living for countless people.
And the really amusing thing - all negative articles that I've seen were written by men....
Brett did his "thing" and he's really good at it. He may take some time getting his point across but in the end his creativity is bordering on brilliance. If I re-call correctly many of the tasks that Brett had his hand in his team won. Donald Trump is not a push over and not easily swayed by emotion. Brett won on merit not because he has been fighting for his life. Holly is a mom fighting for her child but Brett is also a dad fighting for children, quite possibly one of his own. Holly needs to lighten up a little and laugh more. She's fabulous at what she does but there has to be some laughter in your life even in the boardroom.
holly was good at raising money...yes.... but she lost twice when she was in charge, and they were her ideas which she bullied her teammates into doing. when cindy was fired, it should have been holly! bret was bret, love him or hate him, he wasn't an evil, conniving, lying person who would stab his teammates in the back like holly.
Congratulations to bret! that was a very well deserved victory.
trump had no choice in the matter. it was literally a tie between bret and holly, holly wasn't technically fired...but bret was hired.
Here's to hoping Michaels takes over for Simon on Idol. Rock on.
There are certainly a good deal of details like that to take into consideration.