Real Housewives of NYC Reality Check: Charting Kelly's Nervous Breakdown

Last week on the Housewives of New York City, the ladies celebrated Ramona's 17th wedding anniversary with a Caribbean bachelorette party. Ramona drank her weight in pinot grigio, Kelly walked into a glass door and Bethenny cursed everyone's stupidity. It was a fun little trip that Bravo did not want to end, so they stuck the wives on an island and let them battle it out Lord of the Flies style -- well, Lord of the Flies-style plus Botox, a fully-staffed mansion and designer bikinis -- in last night's episode "Sun, Sand and Psychosis." And poor Kelly was the first to crack. Relive the craziness after the jump.

Breakfast Battle

While enjoying a light meal after their Hooters yachtscapade, tensions heightened when Kelly told Bethenny that she is not a licensed chef.

· "She doesn't work in a restaurant and she's not an executive chef. I mean just because you're catering people's parties does not a chef make." Yes, "does not a chef make," is what she said, signaling that the most Amazonian of the ladies was starting to crack.

· [to Bethenny] "You're in a horror film, I'm in Disneyland."

· After Bethenny said, "No one knows what you're saying," Kelly responded, "Okay, satchels of gold, to everyone's confusion.

Kelly's Batsh*t Crazy Meter: 3

Gift Bag Gaffe

Kelly took offense with a monogrammed beach tote that Bethenny extended as an olive branch and called Jill to vent accordingly. Jill later confessed that Kelly was making no sense on the phone and could not put a full thought together.

· "It was so impersonal and it rubbed me the wrong way."

· "I'm alone, on scary island, with no friends."

· "I've had nightmares for the last week about [Bethenny] stabbing me.

· "I'm sorry, I don't have double-D fake tits in my face. No, I'm not all that."

Kelly's Batsh*t Crazy Meter: 4

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