7 of the Most Boring Reality Show Winners of All Time
Survivor
Brian Heidik (Season Five)
On paper, Brian Heidik could have been an interesting reality show contestant: not only was he a used-car salesman, but he'd dabbled in softcore pornography, a skeleton in his closet usually reserved for contestants on VH1 dating shows. On TV, though, he was a snooze. He won the million dollars, but he was so boring that Survivor's never had him back on, despite its propensity for all-star seasons.
The Bachelor
Jen Schefft (Season Three)
If recent seasons of The Bachelor have seemed a little more unhinged, it might have to do with this perfectly adequate, colorless winner. Says our resident Bachelor expert Julie Miller: "Andrew Firestone proposed to her in season 3 -- she was just very nice, from Ohio, no skeletons in her closet. They broke up and she had her own season of The Bachelorette but she ended up not picking any of the bachelors. It was lame town. There were never any bikini shots of her or rumors that she had a boyfriend the whole time they shot." Seriously. Up your game a little bit, ladies.
Dancing with the Stars
Drew Lachey (Season Two)
Drew Lachey. Nice guy. Attractive man. Boring as dirt, at least in the cutthroat world of reality TV. He's the sort of guy whose most transgressive acts ever were probably a) shaving his chest and b) watching on episode of South Park on Hulu. Even his Wikipedia is kinda bored of him.
The Apprentice
Dawna Stone (Martha Stewart spinoff)
The main Apprentice franchise was running on fumes before it got a celebrity revamp, but the Martha Stewart-toplined spinoff was actually a wonderfully weird, underrated little show. The estrogen-heavy cast was full of total weirdos including idiot cable pundit Leslie Sanchez, psychotic ad exec Jim Bozzini, and soon-to-be Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel, for some reason! A recoiling Martha eventually gave to win to the boring Dawna, just because she was the least embarrassing out of all those people. That may be true, but it wasn't any fun.
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Comments
Wait, what? I've only watched three seasons of TOP CHEF, and out of those three, Stephanie was definitely the best winner. Josiah? Who the hell liked or remembers that guy?
Santino was robbed! That dude was the Devendra Banhart of fashion-focused reality programming.
How about blonde Whats-her-name who beat out Russell in a recent season of Survivor? At first his "I don't care who I deceive or screw, I'm in this only to win it" attitude was a shock, then you realized that he might just be the best thing that had ever happened to that crap show. He'd stick his hand under a random rock and come up with an idol. The girl just managed to hide behind his destructive wake, and the "jury" (read: sore losers manipulated by the story editors) voted for her just to avoid letting him win. Just because he's a millionaire oil guy that didn't really need the money, and he tricked you hard on national teevee??
After that joke of a finale I don't think I ever need to see another episode of Survivor, or another reality TV show for that matter. I hope he's smart enough to stay away from Survivor All Star Show XXIII.
with you on stephanie izard, josh. bravo held a poll recently and she was voted most popular chef of all seasons to date.
apparently kyle, you're a bit out of touch with the majority of the country...