American Idol Recap: Who's Finale-Bound?

Three singers. Six songs. A thousand depilated Seacrest neck hairs. Millions of "uhs" from the judges. One billion subliminal Coke mentions. For 60 minutes last night, the numbers added up to one grueling Top 3 week on American Idol. The heat was on as the remaining three vocalists sang two covers for the approval of our texting digits. So, who's going on to the finale? Is it Crystal Bowersox, Lee DeWyze, or Casey James? We've ranked all six performances from last night, and our recommendation for the Final Two is crystal er, startlingly clear.

6. Casey James, "OK, It's Alright With Me"

Let's take a moment to inspect the title of Casey's song. It sounds like the response you get from a petrified kindergartener whose school principal wrongfully pegs him for urinating on the bathroom wall and wants to take away his recess forever. (The real culprit snickers into his jean-vest and flees to a broken home.) Casey gave us an unconfident murmur too. DioGuardi took the words out of my mouth with her appraisal: It was both a new and uninteresting song to home viewers, and precisely the wrong number for Top 3 week. For the love of God, why Eric Hutchinson? I saw him live at Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show and knew he was Bore County then. Ugh! Wrong move, charming steed!

5. Casey James, "Daughters"

In conclusion, it wasn't the Dark Horse's night. Or wait -- maybe this is just his darkest, horsiest evening yet. So subtle, horse is. But now, some reality: There's no question that Casey turned in the two weakest performances of the evening, even if his underground league of voters kicks in and vaults him to the Final 2. I wouldn't count it out. His version of John Mayer's "Daughters" didn't advance upon the original, and it certainly didn't pulse with the oh-so-elusive "vulnerability" we keep hearing about. But Casey's a sensual, restrained musician, and it's a shame he didn't amp that up past a monotone mumble. I whinny for his feelings.

4. Lee DeWyze, "Simple Man"

"Simple Man" wasn't the most dynamic or ingenious song choice, so we can stop pretending Lee "Gen. Stoneface Somnambulator" DeWyze had an artistic breakthrough already. Jesus Christ, judges. GrizzLee Bore sang "Simple Man" with adequate pitch and stage presence, the very checklist of qualities affixed to his Alter Bridge poster at home. But this overwhelming brouhaha over his abilities and artistry and viability -- just what? Lee's voice sounds fine when he's getting through the words, but when he's forced to a hold a note? It just wakes the campers and forces the limber ones up a tree. He sang "Simple Man" with a touch of verve, but without sophistication.

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