23 Questions About Lost Episode 616, "What They Died For," Answered!

Previously, on Lost: Jack looks in his bag and finds a bomb that can't kill everyone on the submarine unless they mess with it. Sawyer messes with the bomb. Everyone frets about what to do with the bomb. Sayid grabs the bomb and runs. The bomb explodes. Sayid dies. Frank Lapidus dies. (Never forget!) Jin decides to drown with Sun rather than live life as a single parent. Jack, Kate, Sawyer and Hurley wash up on the beach.

Only one more episode left, gang. Let's not waste any more time in preamble before turning the Frozen Donkey Answer Wheel to handle the latest batch of questions Lost has posed to us.

What did Damon Lindelof have to tweet about last night's episode?

Perhaps sensing that "What They Died For" would not be nearly as polarizing as last week's "Flashback ExpositionFest '10," Lindelof seemed not as preoccupied with winking at the rioting masses.

Before we really dive in here, are we angry at Lindecuse Darltonof again this week, or are we just sitting back and enjoying our precious few remaining moments together with them and the surviving castaways?

Our collective, often irrational anger is not unlike the Smoke Monster: it appears seemingly out of nowhere, emits a sound like a freight train sodomizing a polar bear, and then disappears into the distance as quickly as it came. So we're all just enjoying ourselves until the finale. Right? Right.

Is opening a box of cereal technically making breakfast?

We're going to agree with Jack on this one: It is not technically making breakfast. But to his credit, he decided to just eat the cereal flash-sideways son David "prepared" for him, rather than muttering, "I can fix this," and then cooking up a feast of pancakes, eggs and homemade chorizo. This was a crucial character moment we'll return to later.

OK, but wasn't Jack fixing Kate on the beach mere moments later?

First of all, that was regular Jack, not sideways-Jack. Secondly, Kate had a bullet wound that needed sewing up. And "This is the best I can do," is a lot less God-complex-y than what the old Jack might have said: "I can travel back in time and slap that bullet right out of the air. I can pre-fix you." This was also a crucial character moment, which we'll touch on later.

So what should they do about "Locke"?

They have to kill him. Because of the bomb on the submarine, and other sound killing-reasons.

What do all those sad life preservers washing up on shore represent?

They represent the friends lost on the submarine: Sayid, Jin and Sun. And perhaps most poignantly, Lapidus, because there would be no way he'd put one of those things on. He'd rather drown than look like a total p*ssy.

What might happen if a mousy high school teacher tries to make a citizen's arrest of a burly Scottish guy who recently used his curiously unbranded BMW* to run over a guy in a wheelchair?

That high school teacher would catch a beating so severe he'd flash back to an identical beating he was dealt in an alternate reality for trying to kill the burly Scottish guy. And then the Scottish guy would tell him some surprisingly convincing story about his altruistic motivations for playing wheelchair demolition derby.

(*Come on, BMW, pony up the product placement cash. The show's almost over, get a piece of the action before it's gone.)

What's in Ben's seeeeecret walk-in closet?

A bunch of nice clothes he needed to hide from Ethan, who was always borrowing Ben's various "looks" without asking. Enough C4 explosive to blow ten planes to ten separate hells. Oh, and a tunnel to the place where he used to summon the monster, before it finally dawned on him that perhaps it was actually the monster who was summoning him.

Did Ben look emotionally devastated when he accused Widmore of never having met Jacob, and then Widmore threw it right back in his face that he had totally met Jacob, who came to Los Angeles for a visit after they blew up his barge?

Seriously, why did EVERYONE get to meet Jacob but Ben? He's trying to move past the fact that he dedicated his life to serving his absentee god, but it's really hard when people keep taunting him with their meaningful Jacob encounters.

So what have Straume & Ford: Crimefighting Buddies been up to?

The usual. Joshin' around about the crazy red-headed chick Jimbo Ford boned, hanging at the station, and locking up virtually every flash-sideways cast member who was on Oceanic 815. Oh, hey, here's another one! Some guy who's turning himself in for steamrolling a cripple and beating up a nerd. Throw him in the cell with the other passengers. He'll never convince them he can help them escape, then awaken them to the lives they've already lived on a mysterious island.

Why didn't Lockeford W. Smokenheimer just kill Desmond if he wanted him dead, instead of all this grab-assing with throwing him down a well and expecting to politely stay down there until can he find someone to do the dirty work?

If you, like Jack, were inclined to think that It's probably another one of those "rules" that governs why a character doesn't take the most expedient route to what they want, allowing something as seemingly simple as murdering a helpless guy in a well stretch on for several episodes, we couldn't blame you. There was no way to know that Smokey had plans for Desmond. Big plans. Nefarious plans.

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