Who to Blame? The 5 Biggest Culprits in American Idol's Worst Season
Even if Crystal Bowersox ranks among American Idol's finest talents (and I believe she does), something's rotten in the state of Seacrest this year. Last season, Idol rejuvenated itself with a blend of personalities -- from subtle craftsman Kris Allen to sparkle sorcerer Adam Lambert. This season's Idol cast is dogged by a number of distracting elements -- and worst, the Idol-consuming populace is confused over the true culprits in this fiasco. Thus, we're ranking the five biggest contributors to Idol's weakest year. Hopefully number one will start to garner the skewering it deserves. Daggers ready!
5. The Kara/Simon Sideshow
This unfortunate non-drama subsided in recent weeks, but the memory burns on: Kara DioGuardi, who gives arguably the best criticisms most nights, confused herself for the star of the show and wasted our time caressing Simon's shoulders and gnawing his chest. At season's start, DioGuardi mentioned to the press that she felt obligated to revive some of Paula Abdul's shtick, which included contestant sympathy and an unpredictability factor. Well, that explains her flagrant attempt to stir up a saucy, buddy-buddy relationship with Simon, but it doesn't justify why she thought it should be so time-consuming.
4. Contestant Nervousness
No one should be crucified for showing nerves on a national stage, at least to start. But if these contestants are serious about pop idol status, shouldn't this platform be more empowering than discouraging? Lee DeWyze's worried warble, Aaron Kelly's prenatal shakes, Casey James' cautious bleat, and Alex Lambert's post-vomit trembles were eye- and ear-sores all season long. It made them seem like unwilling combatants, the least telegenic quality an Idol contestant can have.
3. The Themes/Song Selection
By this time in Idol's run, we need cooler themes. These months of outdated ideas ("Inspirational Week," anyone? "Frank Sinatra Week"? "Elvis Week"?) have transformed the talent pool into a mushy, urgency-deprived karaoke machine. Some of the burden is on the contestants themselves, who don't need to choose "I Believe I Can Fly" or "When You Believe" but labor our tolerance anyway. Still, the quantity of available goodness is seriously limited, and I can only think of a handful of times where the singers mined gems -- aside from Rolling Stones week, the competition's best moment.
2. Ellen DeGeneres
Let's put it bluntly: Ellen DeGeneres could not have been any worse this season. She was scarcely funny. She almost always agreed with and watered down Randy's "points." She couldn't authoritatively stand behind a negative criticism. Worst of all, she never justified her position on the panel, resembling a specter of the TV icon we once knew. Reviewing her comments from throughout the season, she said a version of the phrase, "You know I'm a fan" or "You know I think you're great" to nearly every contestant. You'd think a new presence infiltrating Idol's long-established panel would do more to substantiate her gig than pander to contestants.
1. The Voters
Surprise! You did this to yourselves! As much as we can lay into the judges' inconsistency, Ryan Seacrest's unhinged showmanship, or a cast of wheezing wannabes, the main problem with season nine is horrible home-viewer voting. There's a reason we were promised a year of standout female talents at season's start: Your Top 5 should've been Crystal Bowersox, Siobhan Magnus, Didi Benami, Lilly Scott and Katelyn Epperly. Lee DeWyze's (GrizzLee Bore) tuneless whimper-growls, Casey James' unassuming coffeehouse appeal, and Michael Lynche's Cool Whip commercial "soul" should've deserted Hollywood weeks ago.
We've witnessed so much sympathy voting this year -- from Tim Urban's continued survival to a grim use of the Judges' Save, all on behalf of the lagging male talent pool. Siobhan and Didi -- discernible personalities who not only had great voices but utilized them singularly -- gave one "off" performance apiece. Lilly Scott and Katelyn Epperly were voted out after some of their best efforts. When you reinspect the oeuvre of the four remaining guys, you find plenty more misses than hits.
While viewers can claim that Idol's personnel shifts have added a layer of annoyance to the show, they can't claim they didn't design this strangely uninteresting turnout themselves.
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Comments
I TOTALLY AGREE
YOU NO COMMENTS, are like ? we all have one.there will never be a better singer then adam lambert.this year was not the best.it was mostly like going to a bar and just haveing fun.not saying there were not some good singer.there were.just my comments.i think crystal will win.she is other janice joplin.bonnie ratt.joan jet.about dreadlocks .yes they do wash there hair ty.i i agree .ellen like music dont no music.that is why randys frist.then ellen can say what the dawg says.but i like ellen she is so funny.but the show is over paula and simon gone.idol gone.that why the have offer simon $146 million to stay.he turned them down.may be i have something you dont no.maybe no.paula has a contract with x-factor.simon and paula back.now al wants paula back.ha ha ha.american idol by by.
I really have not cared for Ellen as a judge either but I think I understand why AI put her on the panel. They wanted a person who was well-known by the public but would judge a song/singer only by what they saw/heard. In other words, they wanted someone on the panel similar to the average joe--like most of you and (I must admit) like me.
First of all,America needs to remember that A/Idol is a singing competition, and not ANTM. Casey James can't sing and should have been voted off over a month ago, he was there for his looks.The impression I get is that the voters are young girls and old white ladies. The top (3)three should have been; MICHEAL LYNCH, CRYSTAK BOWERSOX, & SIOBHAN MAGNUS. Those are the most talented singers. Even Tim Urban was a better singer than Casey and the other guy who's there right.
You seem to have a rather unhealthy obsession with this nefarious plot by the 'lavender mafia' to force the world into glittery hotpants.
Put on the 'Beaches' soundtrack, take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror, pop down to 'The Vault' and act out those fantasies you've been harboring since the high school locker room.
Self-acceptance is the key to a happy and prejudice-free life.
How can pond-life type?
First of all...Kara was the one who hurt Casey's chances. He started out good, but the bigger of a deal KAra made over him, the more he couldn't live up to what she was portraying him as. American Idol is suppose to be about the best singing "talent" and stage presence...NOT about if Casey came out with his shirt unbuttoned or not...or does Kara not know what the judging is truly suppose to be about !
Then with Kara's oh too obvious "homophobia" she was sickkening...what exactly did she think Ellen would do to her if she(Kara) kept her chair where it belonged, next to Ellen? Ppppppssssssttttt....Kara...Gay is not contagious ! So, due to her homophobia, she made way too much of a big deal over Casey far too soon, (and in ways that have nothing to do with his "singing" abilities) She was practically all over Simon, and in his lap for more then half the season, just so she didn't have to be close to Ellen. IMO the producers got onto her about her behavior...because all of a sudden...she is judging Casey more harshly, finally out of Simon's lap, and keeping her chair where it belonged. I don't know about anyone else out there, but I know I felt offended for Ellen, when Kara had taken it as far, as putting her hand up to the side of her face, as to block her perefrial(sp) vision of Ellen at one point. Did she think even loking at Ellen was going to give her some "eye disease"?
Kara is one Judge who really needs to hit the road !
one more thing,Lee may have "grown" alot during the show, and finally found more confidence in himself, but Crystal Bowersox was a strong presence from day one. She knows who she is, and she doesn't compromise that for anyone. She remains true to herself. If Lee wins over Crystal, then I know for sure the show is fixed ! During this last show, Crystal proved herself, and did all three of her songs much better then Lee did his.
As far as voting, they should only allow one vote per phone number. These little teens and tweens love to sit on their phones texting away, thus, they vote many many times for the one they think is "cute"...news flash children, "cute" doesn't mean they can sing !
As for last years Idol, sure Adam Lambert sang well, and the only thing that is really keeping him going now, is because he is always finding ways to cause controversy. When I saw his performance on the Awards show, I cringed at his performance, with all of the crotch grabbing, and his behavior with his dancers ! "AMERICAN IDOL" stands for having someone your children can look up to ! And what was his dimwitted comment about his performance on the awards? When asked, didn't you worry about what "Children" were going to see? His answer was" well parents should monitor what they watch" to that the interviewer added, "But no one knew what you were going to do !" He just gave a "dirty" grin, and shrugged his shoulders! NEWS FLASH ADAM LAMBERT,Not every stage is in a GAY BAR !! I was SO glad he didn't win Idol, because he really didn't deserve that title. I am not homophobic by any means, heck I am gay too, and even I take offense to Lambert's stage presence !
Well said VOGUETHIS....Jennifer Hudson is horrible. I agree about the whaling and screaming she does...people DO mistake it for talent. If that's all you needed to do ...I would have a Grammy in every corner of the house.
Kara thinks she could take Paula's place......NO WAY Simon I feel show wont be the same without your mean and nasty remarks but we loved you anyway, watched the show just to hear your comments. Good luck sry your leaving but you should kick Kara off show before you leave. She's a NOBODY
if Randy says hey dude, dude,listen anymore i think i'll have to punch the television. That is really beginning to bug me.
wait wait wait.. SIOBHAN?! are you people crazy? you liked her shrieking?! big mike was the best guy, and crystal was the best girl, that should have been the final two.
Suggestion for the voter voting problem
Allow only one vote per phone number thru elinibating computer calling, repeat hone calls.
Something has to be done or the show is dead.
First of all I don't agree with women being in the top five. People vote on who they like, and I think Lee deserved to be in the finale.
I have liked him from the start and it didn't change me from voting for him.
I think he is a likeable person and that is ones of the reasons that I voted him. I also voted for him because I like how he sings. He doesn't have to sound great each week.
If I'm into how he sings then I think he is great and don't care what anyone else thinks.
He will be successful even if he doesn't win Idol.
Adam Lambert and Daughtry were two guys who didn't win Idol but are sucessful because they are talented guys. Love listening to them and am a huge fan for them.
It's a reality show. All seasons are worst. Who's responsible? Everyone involved in making this and all the people who watch it.
I think the whole ellen being a judge sucked. She added nothing to the show. Im just so tired of the gay agenda. They have to shove gay in our faces all the time?? I feel like people are losing their minds. Please stop. If they wanted someone who was funny they should have gotten Jamie Foxx to be a judge.
Lol first of all any straight guy who says is not homophobic is lying. If you like women then you are automatically homophobic. Because we cant understand why a man would want to be all up on some other guy. It literally makes me sick to think about it.
i agree
Tom, can you please leave out references to homosexuality? Why is it some of you can't critique someone who is gay without making this point? America is so behind the times in acceptance of all people.
It makes me ashamed sometimes.
simon is going so i wont watch the show again.adam stunk.i hate yelling songs .im older and love music not noise.
They left out the biggest reason idol stunk it up. randy is just sickening. Yo and DUDE are sooooo 30 years ago and without those two words he would have no vocabulary. He even called lovely Crystal DUDE a couple of times last nite. What a moron. They don,t actually pay him do they?
The worst talent since inception Simon, is the only keeper of the judges including the M.C.WHATS HIS NAME he reminds me of a ventriloquist dummy with all of the movements of his mouth.
I have to agree with SKF and others about Adam Lambert. Since last year I am spoiled because of Adam. AI8 was the most exciting year EVER because of Adam: his amazing voice and the ability to sing and re-arrange any song, showmanship, the IT FACTOR that no one before him - or since - had, the excitement of watching each week because you didn't know what he was going to do next, or how he was going to surprise you by singing a song everone knows but singing it and presenting it in a new and refreshing and exciting way; and etc, etc, etc!! Oh, and he was (and still is) a wonderful, fashionable, gorgeous SIGHT to behold - always a "surprise, surprise"! THIS YEAR HOWEVER, was totally, completely, utterly, pathetically, boringly ... BORING!!!!!! If you get my drift. SURE a few were really sweet and could "sing", but that's about it. Lots of people can sing and even sing well, but not all singers have what Adam has. Do you remember what Simon used to say last year about voting "based on talent"? Unfortunately, most of the votes weren't based on who had the BEST talent out of all the contestants. Sure Kris and some of the others could "sing" but NONE OF THEM had what Adam had: the UNIQUENESS, the STAGE PRESENCE, the SHOWMANSHIP, the CHARISMA, and the AMAZING VOICE. Oh the VOICE!! Oh course, just like people felt about Elvis, you either love Adam or you don't. And regardless of how I or anybody else may feel about his personal lifestyle, there is no denying his UNIQUE TALENT! (BUT - I do want to add this: I hope Adam doesn't try to force his "personal lifestyle" on his fans. Just entertain your fans with your voice, Adam! )
Without Simon this show is toast, the other judges suck and no one cares to hear what they have to say. Kara is so stupid...get rid of that idiot and while your at it tell Randy is constant boo-ing when Simon is announced is ignorant and annoying. Simon is all we want to hear from. But Kara doe snot fit in....she is soooooooooooooo annoying. We would much rather hear from Ellen. Kara is a Paula wanna be...and we will not miss her at all if she "GOES"!
Lee should win this hands down. Like Kara, no one wants to hear that dred locked cheap bar singing yuck. She needs to go was her hair.
AMERICA wants someone to look up to...that is just EW!
No one is going to listen to her for long!
First of all, Kara, hide your elephant ears! Second, Kara, your NOT Paula, so don't try to be like her. Third, this show will lose about 45% of it's viewers because Simon's leaving!!! Overall, I'm NOT watching American Idol next year. GO LEE!!!!!! (P.S. He is DeWyze choice)
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