Who to Blame? The 5 Biggest Culprits in American Idol's Worst Season
Even if Crystal Bowersox ranks among American Idol's finest talents (and I believe she does), something's rotten in the state of Seacrest this year. Last season, Idol rejuvenated itself with a blend of personalities -- from subtle craftsman Kris Allen to sparkle sorcerer Adam Lambert. This season's Idol cast is dogged by a number of distracting elements -- and worst, the Idol-consuming populace is confused over the true culprits in this fiasco. Thus, we're ranking the five biggest contributors to Idol's weakest year. Hopefully number one will start to garner the skewering it deserves. Daggers ready!
5. The Kara/Simon Sideshow
This unfortunate non-drama subsided in recent weeks, but the memory burns on: Kara DioGuardi, who gives arguably the best criticisms most nights, confused herself for the star of the show and wasted our time caressing Simon's shoulders and gnawing his chest. At season's start, DioGuardi mentioned to the press that she felt obligated to revive some of Paula Abdul's shtick, which included contestant sympathy and an unpredictability factor. Well, that explains her flagrant attempt to stir up a saucy, buddy-buddy relationship with Simon, but it doesn't justify why she thought it should be so time-consuming.
4. Contestant Nervousness
No one should be crucified for showing nerves on a national stage, at least to start. But if these contestants are serious about pop idol status, shouldn't this platform be more empowering than discouraging? Lee DeWyze's worried warble, Aaron Kelly's prenatal shakes, Casey James' cautious bleat, and Alex Lambert's post-vomit trembles were eye- and ear-sores all season long. It made them seem like unwilling combatants, the least telegenic quality an Idol contestant can have.
3. The Themes/Song Selection
By this time in Idol's run, we need cooler themes. These months of outdated ideas ("Inspirational Week," anyone? "Frank Sinatra Week"? "Elvis Week"?) have transformed the talent pool into a mushy, urgency-deprived karaoke machine. Some of the burden is on the contestants themselves, who don't need to choose "I Believe I Can Fly" or "When You Believe" but labor our tolerance anyway. Still, the quantity of available goodness is seriously limited, and I can only think of a handful of times where the singers mined gems -- aside from Rolling Stones week, the competition's best moment.
2. Ellen DeGeneres
Let's put it bluntly: Ellen DeGeneres could not have been any worse this season. She was scarcely funny. She almost always agreed with and watered down Randy's "points." She couldn't authoritatively stand behind a negative criticism. Worst of all, she never justified her position on the panel, resembling a specter of the TV icon we once knew. Reviewing her comments from throughout the season, she said a version of the phrase, "You know I'm a fan" or "You know I think you're great" to nearly every contestant. You'd think a new presence infiltrating Idol's long-established panel would do more to substantiate her gig than pander to contestants.
1. The Voters
Surprise! You did this to yourselves! As much as we can lay into the judges' inconsistency, Ryan Seacrest's unhinged showmanship, or a cast of wheezing wannabes, the main problem with season nine is horrible home-viewer voting. There's a reason we were promised a year of standout female talents at season's start: Your Top 5 should've been Crystal Bowersox, Siobhan Magnus, Didi Benami, Lilly Scott and Katelyn Epperly. Lee DeWyze's (GrizzLee Bore) tuneless whimper-growls, Casey James' unassuming coffeehouse appeal, and Michael Lynche's Cool Whip commercial "soul" should've deserted Hollywood weeks ago.
We've witnessed so much sympathy voting this year -- from Tim Urban's continued survival to a grim use of the Judges' Save, all on behalf of the lagging male talent pool. Siobhan and Didi -- discernible personalities who not only had great voices but utilized them singularly -- gave one "off" performance apiece. Lilly Scott and Katelyn Epperly were voted out after some of their best efforts. When you reinspect the oeuvre of the four remaining guys, you find plenty more misses than hits.
While viewers can claim that Idol's personnel shifts have added a layer of annoyance to the show, they can't claim they didn't design this strangely uninteresting turnout themselves.
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Comments
Louis, you pretty much nailed it on you evaluation. Only disagreement I have is with a couple of your top 5. You can't throw Siobhan Magnus in just to fill out the claim of an all girl top 5. I've been in music for 30 years and that girl can't maintain pitch until she screams. From a marketing stand point wanting a return on my money here is the top 5 I would promote: Crystal, Lee, Casey, Didi & Lacey and not necessarily in that order. Crystal is awesome but what genre would you promote her in? Would have to be Indie but not very many indie singers go big. Mike also has a great voice but not for contemporary. My top 5 would all fit into the pop arena and would do good.
I think the way they pick people to be on the show they want to show weidos and people who can't sing and let real singers go with out a shot. no I have never tryed out for the show.
Randy, Paula, Simon, Ryan. THAT'S IT. Pink slip the other 2.
i think with out a doubt they should get rid of kara, she does'nt bring nothing to the show, she talks out of turn and she just goes on for ever. i think she thinks she knows everything. every time she comes on i change the channel til she finishs talking. simon will be missed but if u get one simon you'll get another. please what ever u do don't put ryan he's another kara
i also think that their are to many judges, i mean how many people do u need to make a decision?
It's more than nauseating to see how they pimped for Lee in the TOP3 night. These AI judges must think that all voters/viewers are all dumb sheep waiting for them to be manipulated.
It's more than nauseating to see how they pimped for Lee in the TOP3 night. These AI judges must think that all voters/viewers are just dumb sheep waiting to be manipulated.
THE BIGWIGS WHO PAY THE SALARIES EFFED THE SHOW UP WHEN THEY HIRED KARA DIOWHATEVER, AND TRIED TO PUSH PAULA TO THE BACK. THEN, THEY HAD THE NERVE TO GIVE ALL THE MEN A RAISE, AND LEAVE PAULA IN THE BACK, AGAIN! IT WASN'T BROKE...WHY TRY TO FIX IT? PAULA PUT A HEX ON THAT SHOW. PUT A FORK IN IT...IT'S DONE DONE!
Idol "Jumped the shark" when they had Miley Cyrus as a mentor followed by Adam Lambert. Be real people a 17 year old who's fan base is comprised of 8 to 10 year old girls an example of lifetime musical accomplishment. Judgment like choosing Miley and Adam Lambert as mentors has shown this program has passed its usefulness.
Evidently Idol doesn't Idol know when and how to bow out gracefully?
Very few great voices got in, they are all gone. The left overs are because young kids are voting. Bowersox is decent but not great,what is wrong with the music business today, and the people that are in charge wouldn't know what a good singer is if they fell over one.
I agree that 'country' should be classic western music, and can we have a 'jazz' theme? What about having a male and a female idol? That would eliminate the 'teeny-bopper' aspect. Oh, and Adios Simon. Hopefully his replacement will refrain from comments that cause the stagefright.
Apparently it escapes all but a few... the voting numbers do not make sense. 20 million viewers vote 33 million times over 120 minutes? Hello?
1.6 votes per viewer over 2 hours and no one sees the baffling disconnection between AT&T text and vote for two hours (and busy signals) and "the vote management company" recognizes 33 million votes?
Can you say "disenfranchised voter's"? Or how about "conflict of interest" between AT&T pushing unlimited texting and the "vote management company" disqualifying millions of votes that fall above some "hidden number" above "X" because they deem is a "power block of votes".
you're gross.
When Sommon goes the show will die and Iam glad all the other judge suck but Randy I thing it time to end Idol somman the only one who tells it like it is .
This will probably be the last season of Idol for me. The reasons are simply that it is now painful to watch. It's impossible to believe that over 100,000 people auditioned and these were the ones chosen. No great talent here. Crystal is OK, but she makes it plain that she has no interest in being a star. Lee is terrific, so is Mike. How is it possible that Casey got into the final 3. Because teeny boppers vote countless times. If there were only one call allowed per household you would see a must different vote.
Now lets talk about Ellen. What the hell is she doing there. She has no musical background and no opinion that isn't Randy's. She lives with the illusion that she is funny. She is not, nor can she complete a whole sentence. I will give Simon's new show a look see. Idol is done.
Sheila, STFU. We get it you are in love with Lee, the tuneless shouter. He SUCKS. He cannot carry a tune. That is what SINGING calls for.
Sheila, why are the rating so low this year if it is the best?
I have watched since show 1 and i dont miss it for nothing. I think it a great oppertunity for these young folks to be heard so they have a chance to make it big.What they do with it later is up to them.I think a american idol shows they care in the idol gives back show and its my favorite part of the season.Simon you will be missed as paula was missed this season good luck with your new show. Kara you need to please dont be such a know it all coment yes but make it breif please. Ellen i think you have a ear for music so you did good this seson and Randy you are a little like simon this year man what happen got cold huh. Ryan i think you make the show you really care about the contestants you always have . I will keep watching I love it.
I started "buzzing" thru the DVR versions instead of watching them after they voted of Siobhan Magnus. If people voted on the person who sang the best overall and not just one performance they didn't like, then the final two would have been Magnus and Bowersocks. I think Lee is good, especially "Halalujah" but he hasn't been consistently good, but I think he probably would have been my third choice. And WHY is Casey still there? I usually download a lot of AI Itunes but this year I only have four.
OMG! Something happened to Lady Di!
I lost interest when Lilly got voted off and I have been Tivo-ing Idol and fast forwarding through mostly everything except Crystal and the occasional comment by Simon. What did me in was Adam Lambert's guest performance -- it made it so clear. THAT is a star. These other people are just reality show contestants. Reality contestants who are no fun, not even a guilty pleasure. Yawn. So tonight, I'm not even Tivo-ing. Good luck, Crystal, but I'm just done...
Boring says it all about American Idol. Songs are wrong for these contestants and Clothes, Appearance. Ellen doesn't help the show. She just repeats what Randy says in a shorter version. She loves everyone? She knows nothing about the entertainment world other then her talk show, and I like her there. Not on American Idol. I miss Paula as she gave the show a breath of fresh air. Boring now!!!!! Kara is pretty much stuck on herself and she comes across as a know it all. She is talented and knows her business. Simon doesn't have his heart in American Idol this season. Maybe its because he is leaving? The whole package just doesn't work this season. I may hang it up and put my time on another show during this time spot next year. Did I say this show bores me and I don't have a favorite singer to cheer on. Mr. Pretty face with the curls brings in the young crowd. Good for ratings. The gal with braids comes across as a hippy that needs a new hairdo. Who picks the clothes the contestants are wearing? We have Mr. scared that can't smile as a front runner to win if you listen to the judges. The worse contestants in my eyes for American Idol. Not to forget singing is what this show is about. I've watched every show since they've been on. They let good singers go with their critical comments. All too sad! Entertainment? Too much wasted time.
I watch American Idol pretty much every year, and I can honestly say, I miss Paula. Kara is like fingernails on a chalkboard. I have to say, after about the 3rd season, I got my feel of Randy....Paula should have stayed and Randy should have went. I like Ellen.....but other than the fact that she likes music, I can't figure out why she has the authority to be a judge on American Idol. I agree with the post before me....Simon seems completely bored and acts like he is put out by even having to be there. Something has to change....
Crystal Bowersox Defines The Words "WHITE TRASH!"
The Trash Needs A Flea & Tick DIP !!!!!
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