Celebrity Apprentice Recap: Is Bret Michaels Going to Win This Thing?

I didn't want or expect three eliminations on Celebrity Apprentice last night, but that's just what we got, isn't it? Right down the line, Maria Kanellis, Curtis Stone, and Sharon Osbourne took the elevator ride to hell. Trump calmly explained that they didn't sell out their coworkers enough. Of course. But more importantly: Only Holly Robinson Peete and Bret Michaels are left. Huh? This isn't the Sharon Osbourne-Curtis Stone finale we banked on following Summer Sanders' elimination. Could Bret, the man who joyfully gave us the catchphrase "Pump up the wiener," really win it all?

Even considering the finale is filmed live next week, meaning Bret's appearance in the final boardroom will be triumphant and emotional, I'm calling it now: There is no way Bret will win Celebrity Apprentice. Perhaps he'll pull off a victory with his new Snapple flavor (that's the finale assignment), but Holly's past as a consummate team leader and workaholic will win out anyway.

If this past episode taught us anything, it's that Donald can make the boardroom judgment as arbitrary and uninfluenced by the task as he wants. Why was Curtis fired again after his interview? Because Trump wanted Bret around longer. Using the same criteria, Donald should give the win to Holly, who has powered through admittedly low expectations, mentioned autism enough times to outpace a child psychologist, and toiled hard to become the clear frontrunner. All the eliminated contestants know Bret is a lady-ogling scatterbrain whose creative larks end in personal shame for most bystanders. Holly's not. That takes care of that.

Sidenote: Isn't it interesting that for the final task, Holly recruited Curtis Stone as a teammate while Bret ended up with Summer Sanders? The finale that was supposed to happen has slyly manifested itself. In that case, I'm rooting for Summer and kissing my makeshift gold medals while the crowds in 1992 Barcelona holler my name.