REVIEW: Ugly, Interminable Robin Hood Steals From Audiences
Confused yet? Just wait. As it turns out, dead Robert Loxley has left behind a widow, Lady Marion (Cate Blanchett). Marian doesn't much care for this Robin Longstride fellow, but Walter, dirty old fox that he is, urges her to welcome him into her bedchamber. She does so, chastely. In other news, Mark Strong's Godfrey is enacting an intricate plot of treachery against the crown, and Oscar Isaac's Prince John, having gleefully ascended the throne after his brother's death, proceeds to tax the bejeebus out of his citizens. Only Robin can save his beloved England from -- well, from a lot of really bad stuff.
No actor in Robin Hood escapes with his or her dignity intact, with the exception of Eileen Atkins as Eleanor of Aquitaine: She's the movie's single note of true grandeur, appearing at one point with an equally noble tame owl perched on her arm. Blanchett, often a fine and subtle actress, is somnambulant here -- she drifts through the movie like a half-awake, half-aware ghost. She also comes off as sexually indifferent to, if not outright repulsed by, Crowe's Robin. When the two move in for a kiss, their smooching has a perfunctory, "Think of England" quality.
You can't blame her for failing to be turned on by Crowe's Mr. Crankypants routine. He plays Robin's devotion to the common man as one relentless scowl. There's no mirth or mischief in this Robin Hood, only misery. Crowe is far from finished as an actor -- he gave a sturdy, thoughtful performance in Kevin Macdonald's State of Play, and he was even charming in Scott's clumsy but enjoyable A Good Year.
But Crowe is playing a quality here -- a kind of drab, holier-than-thou dignity -- rather than a character, and Scott never calls him on it. He either hasn't noticed or doesn't care, but that's all of a piece with this bungled picture. Scott isn't a graceful director, and we shouldn't expect lyricism from him. But any filmmaker telling the Robin Hood story should be able to achieve more than a persistent throb of dullness, which is the best Scott can manage here.
The loveliest, most gloriously pagan Robin Hood may be John Irvin's 1991 version, starring Patrick Bergin and Uma Thurman, worth seeking out on DVD; it was never released in theaters, thanks to the dunderheaded egotism of Kevin Costner, who didn't want it to compete with his own inane Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (directed by Kevin Reynolds). Ridley Scott's Robin Hood may be even worse than Costner's version, though comparing the two makes for a pretty pittling contest. At least Costner's version feigned some love for its landscape; Scott's is just a moneygrubbing extravaganza, ugly to look at and interminable to sit through. No movie about the evils of excessive taxation should be this taxing.
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Comments
Crowe and Blanchett have no chemistry? How can that be? They're both straight! :/
Renter.
FTW
Wow. The movie looked horrendous to begin with - let's be serious, at this point in time, does anyone actually say something like "I want to see the new Russell Crowe movie" - but this review seems to support every negative feeling I had about the film. Then again, I thought "Gladiator" was pretty stupid, so I'm not the best judge. But when I heard they were making a "prequel" of sorts to the Robin Hood story, my first and only reaction was, yeah, I really want to see a movie about a guy before he became interesting.
You'd think a Ridley Scott-filmed Robin Hood would at least be beautiful to look at. What a waste of time and money.
You can just look at the trailer and tell its gonna be a stupid movie.
Lou
http://www.isp-logging.eu.tc
It's inexplicably sad to witness the disgraceful sellout of the true director, who, having all the money and fame majority of other filmmakers can only dream about, made the conscious decision to cheat the trust of the auditorium and set cynical moneyraking as priority for his activity. 230 mln budget – how come the movie looks like the last wornout episode of Xena – the warrior princess ??? Scott brothers have always had a knack for breathtaking visuals – what happened this time ? I’m not even talking of story – pathetic dialogs trying to mask the absence of fabula whatsoever. Any screenwriting student could’ve come up with better choices.
Anyways, Ridley Scott should be wary of IRS now – you can’t fool these guys, who will be interested how this awfully looking, bland, storyless video with no music and theme could cost 230 mln dollars.
What’s worse is that the majority of the press is singing praises, trying to mask the fact that the king is naked, therefore degrading the filmgoer to mindless consumant of cinematic fastfood.
Sad, so sad…
I do believe many film reviewers watched this film with preconceived notions of what it should be,a technicolor fairy tale,a fun-filled romp through the 12th century, well they didn't get that and someone has to pay! Crowe's Robin is a yeoman, a regular guy , God forbid.All that criticism about dourness is ridiculous. This Robin is a good man,looking to start again after being away from England for years. He is attracted to Marian and she to him.All film criticism is just subjective interpretation articulated by person x.So in the final analysis what matters most here is if I liked the film and found it worthy. I found it most worthy.
For me the key point of interest in this film was Russell Crowe's accent, which wanders erratically between Northern England, North-East England and Northern Ireland (often within a single sentence).
Robin Hood is set in the Middle Ages (11th century).
He is NOT supposed to be MIDDLE AGED!!!!!
Crowe is a haggard old guy with a paunch.
Sorry dude, no matter how talented you are as an actor, you have to LOOK the part.
exactly. just a D-U-D
I haven't seen it, but there's NO WAY it could be worse than Kevin Costner's version. I refuse to believe that!
The movie sucked.. Plane and simple. It's always the same old story with Russel Crow, no acting, no style, just droopy eyes and a loud voice when the need arises. Probably his only good movie was Gladiator, even though Joaquin Phoenix carried him the whole time..