REVIEW: Can You Stay Awake Through Nightmare on Elm Street?
How many years earlier remains an open question (these actors all look like they're pushing 30, despite the presence of childhood photo archives dated 1997), but it's an unpleasant sign of our times that a mainstream horror film can actually get away with a teenage victim dressed up like a little girl while a leering, licking, caressing villain growls paeans to child rape before pledging to kill her. "You were always my favorite," Krueger says to the trembling young Nancy -- after throwing her around the room like the rag doll on which she likely once pointed out his gravest offenses. Nice. Nicer still is the vigilante justice of Krueger's origin story, culminating in the parents of the abused preschoolers torching the warehouse where he's taken refuge. This all unfolds in flashback as Joaquin-alike watches in a Speedo, literally pulled into a nightmare during swim practice.
It's not as though Bayer is totally without imagination, but years of music-video directing have withered his attention span to about three minutes -- the time it takes to mount a visually effective if generally unscary drugstore set piece, or to frame one of Nancy's preschool classmates in a vlog documenting his struggles to stay awake. The last installment of the videos -- when he nods off -- predictably doesn't go so well for the subject. But for the viewer, at least, it yields a more authentic sense of dread than any of the labored, portentous glam-horror in its orbit.
Had Nightmare on Elm Street simply strung a succession of these mishaps together in Final Destination or Saw style, it could have been a serviceable exercise in screen sadism. But the choice to pretend that there's a story here is worse than insulting to the audience, which outwardly demonstrated its incapacity to give a shit after a while. (And dear Michael Bay: I viewed it with the general public, not a room full of stuffy critics sharpening their own knives for your latest exercise, so shut up already.) It was boring. So, so, so boring. It doesn't even give Haley the courtesy of a bad-guy showcase; his face frozen and obscured behind burn prosthetics, he spends most of his time spitting distorted one-liners from the shadows, like some anonymous mob witness on an episode of Dateline NBC. It's boring and a waste.
Of course, in his devil's baritone Krueger does have the last word, so maybe the inevitable sequel will make it right. It can't hurt to be optimistic; it can only hurt to endure it.
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I'm still going to see it, but... Blergh. What a squandered opportunity.
"these actors all look like they’re pushing 30"
I kept thinking the same thing watching the trailer: "This blond girl is in high school? She looks like she's about 35." Maybe it's all the makeup to make them look like cracked out insomniacs?
another half-assed attempt to cash in on a horror classic; another failure... what a shock.
so now they've basically ruined any chance of keeping either of these franchises (Friday the 13th & Nightmare) relevant to a new generation of moviegoers. good job there, hollywood.
what do you expect from a movie that already has numerous sequels? i actually didn't think it was that bad...if you didn't set your expectations TOO high. that gigablast thing actually exists...i looked it up...they're touting themselves as a 'green' search engine.....maybe that's why the movie used it(?). I don't know. probably just a marketing ploy....
Well i saw the movie on opening night, and it honestly wasnt bad. I actually really liked it. but thats just my opinion. And dont be worried about the highschool kids looking "30" cause they really dont, they just arnt very photo-genic. but then again in the beggining i thought that they might of been college kids.
the original is before my time and I never got around to seeing it. but i liked this version for the most part. I wish they had toyed with the early deaths a bit more, mixed things up, showed Nancy and the boy a bit earlier. give it less of an 'anthology' feel.
some of the seasons with the parents were rather over the top. especially with how they avoided saying the truth bluntly. rather annoying.
the whole micro naps and coma thing gave it some logic, and the real feeling dreams was appropriately creepy.
on the acting side the only that really bugged me was the guy, mr Joy division. I liked him more or less, but in early scenes he had this weird expression like he was about to cry. just a bad move on his and the directors part. just over the top way too much even for a cheesy horror flick
but i did love the use of 'dream'.
Sure, it would be lovely.. thank you.. just tell me if you need any help..
"On Monday, British Petroleum promised to pay all necessary cleanup costs for this oil spill. And they said they will do it, no matter how much they have to raise gas prices." —Jay Leno
So it was that bad eh. I haven't seen the movie yet but was planning to complete the set of my DVD collection for all the nightmares. but then again after reading this review I think I will shy away from procuring this on DVD or BD for that matter.
Man why do they even bother with remakes. They usually only rubs me the wrong way when they try.
I can for the love of god think of one remake that I think has been better. Bit this is what happens when money is the game.
M
A 4 I truly hope movie line is using a scale to 10 because this was absolute crap and def not worth 4/5
I think this was huge disappointment when it came to this remake....
-J
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[...] easily classified 1979 horror classic Phantasm, which spawned three sequels and pre-figured the A Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. His 1982 sword-and-sorcery crowd pleaser, The Beastmaster, was played so often on HBO [...]
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