Is Human Centipede 2010's Most Barfiest Movie?

Kyle: Well, I would imagine it's hard to pull a happy ending out of being sewn to two other girls. Is it the sort of film you need a strong stomach for, or does the premise sound worse in your head?

Dave: It's got surgery...and butt flaps.

Kyle: I just shivered when you said "butt flaps." How will I make it through this movie?

Dave: But the WORST thing is something you don't necessarily see, but it's happening right in front of you and you're imagining it and gagging.

Kyle: Right now I am terrified and nothing is even happening!

Dave: It's the ass-to-mouthiest film of the year.

Kyle: Is it more ass-to-mouthy than The Last Song?

Dave: Way more. That movie had a wacky raccoon. This movie has only one wacky pet, and it's dead when the film begins.

Kyle: OMG there's a pet?

Dave: Uh-huh. A prototype pet.

Kyle: Oh no....

Dave: "My sweet little 3-dog," he calls it.

Kyle: Noooooooooo...

Dave: Yessssssssss... Dude, this mad scientist guy is like a f****n' star. Like if Udo Kier had an ugly, freaky cousin. He gives tremendous face in every scene. Like, you sometimes aren't watching other s**t because you are so wrapped up in the weird of his face.

Kyle: Well he's the only actor who has full face to give! So would you also say that Human Centipede might be this year's most barfiest film?

Dave: Oh yes, so far. But seriously: well-directed, well-acted, suspenseful, horrifying, horrible, tense, and weirdly funny.

Kyle: You are a brave pioneer to see this film.

Dave: No, I'm a gore hound with a cast iron stomach, but again, there's way less gore than you'd think. It's a lot of suggestion. And also, best part, there's a hilarious scene where he tries to train the human centipede to fetch his newspaper like his little 3-dog did for him.

Kyle: Wow.

Dave: So great. Pets really do help a person. They lower your blood pressure, I'm told.

Kyle: My blood pressure is through the roof after this conversation.

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