Old Captain, My Captain! Matt Salinger Is Your First Movie Captain America!

Captain America defrosts and, having evaded Red Skull's minions he walks, joyrides and hitches his way back to his old hood in Redondo Beach, California -- from Alaska, remember. It's a journey in which he learns about the evils of modernity -- G-strings! Punks! -- and that the parlous state of world affairs is due to him not killing Red Skull when he had the chance. Meanwhile, his old nemesis has plans to mind-control the environmentally activist President. Thus the stage is set for an explosive Euro showdown.

It's cheesy stuff with a low-budget, shot-through gauze look. But the script by Stephen Tolkin -- brother to Michael -- has a bit going on. Given the new Joe Johnston/Chris Evans-version will have to contend with the same jump from WWII to the present-day, they could do worse than to retain the idea of Captain America accepting the hero's mantle again because he feels responsible for all the bad shit that went down. And in this version, Red Skull is the fella behind it all -- it took him three years to recruit Lee Harvey Oswald, two years for Sirhan Sirhan and "the King job alone cost us over $22 million". The kicker is that this evil genius has realized he's not so smart. "And what do we get for all our pains?" he asks. "Martyrs to the cause." Thus the new scheme to take over the President's mind.

Don't get me wrong, the screenplay has plenty of plain dumb or ridiculously convenient moments -- soldiers asking "What the hell is this thing?" of a block of ice from which Steve Rogers' very human hand protrudes; the rediscovery of a 50-year-old tape recorder with essential plot information still intact; the imprisoned President simply able to kick open his jail-cell door -- but they feel like stuff you might read in a comic. You know, back before they all had to be graphic novels.

Pyun's direction is competent though the interior fight scenes are muddled. What he doesn't do is get in the way of his cast. While Matt Salinger's no great shakes as an actor based on this, he does bring a genuine low-key humour and genuine gosh-darn warmth, particularly to the scenes with his gal, Bernice, who ages while he's snap frozen. Supports Ned Beatty, Ronny Cox, Darren McGavin Michael Nouri and Francesca Neri all appear to be having a good time. As does Scott Paulin, who gives Red Skull a Bela Lugosi accent that really sets off lines like, "All of Southern Europe will be off limits for a century and a half, give or take a decade or two."

Captain America, I realized second-time around, is cheesy fun because it feels like pretend -- like when we were kids inventing superhero scenarios with our friends and not worrying hugely about the "realism" of a towel-cape escapades. It doesn't have the prescribed backstories and dark character arcs, the huge effects sequences or monumental set design we've become accustomed to in the past decade's blockbusters. Not that those are bad things because done right -- as in The Dark Knight or Spider-Man or Iron Man -- they're brilliant. But done badly - think Fantastic Four or Transformers 2 or Spider-Man 3 - they feel like soulless objects from the machine. And that's what makes Captain America a Bad Movie We Love: despite its production history and limitations, it still feels hand-made, with just a little bit of soul.

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