Natural-Breasted, Lawn-Friendly Extras Sought by Pirates IV, Gnomeo & Juliet [UPDATED]

Verge interviewee Greta Gerwig was just the first of the breakthoughs to earn recognition here today. Amateur actors, extras, unemployed fame-cravers and the rest of the striving Hollywood talent pool are encouraged to check out a few scorching opportunities making the rounds of late. To wit, do you have what it takes to share the screen with Johnny Depp and/or animated garden gnomes? If so, inquire within!

First up is the Casting Notice Heard 'Round the World (2010 edition), which actually seems to have trickled out last week but only recently caught on with the sort of land-speed you'd expect from one of the biggest franchise efforts ever planned:

Beautiful Female Fit Models. Must be 5'7-5'8, Size 4 or 6 - NO BIGGER OR SMALLER. Age 18-25. Must have a lean dancer body. MUST have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants. This is a show and tell of costumes with the director and the producers. Plan on an entire day of trying on clothes and being photographed.

Professional Dancers who are Swimmers. Females ONLY. Age 18-30. All ethnicities. YOU MUST have an extensive dance/swimming resume. We will be shooting in Hawaii.

The NY Post followed this up over the weekend, explaining about that "show and tell" that hopefuls will "undergo a Hollywood-style jiggle-your-jugs test and jog for judges. If there's nothing moving from the waist up, they're saying, it's a dead giveaway that you're not all flesh and bones -- and you're out." Welcome to the new Disney! Dick Cook, Oren Aviv and founding POTC direct never would have ruled out bolt-ons, but these are the changing times we live in. Good for them.

But as a tipster points out, Disney also has something for the rest of us as well. Just walk to the far end of the lot and look for the tiny modular trailer with the Miramax sign taped to the window; there you'll find the dazzling chance to star with James McAvoy and Emily Blunt. OK, so not really with them, but with their voices. Actually, probably not that either:

Gnomeo and Juliet

Release Date: February 11, 2011

Studio: Miramax Films

Director: Kelly Asbury

Screenwriter: Rob Sprackling, John R. Smith, Kevin Cecil, Andy Riley, Mark Burton

Starring: James McAvoy, Emily Blunt

Genre: Animation, Comedy, Family

***Contact Casting 1-877-xxx-xxxx*** For Background Scene work. Extras Are needed. No Experience Req. Union and Non-Union OK.

Plot Summary: CGI-animated loose and edgy adaptation of Shakespeare's play, McAvoy (Wanted) and Blunt (The Devil Wears Prada) would play lovers from rival gardens. The film will feature several Elton John classics and possibly a few new tracks.

"Lovers from rival gardens" = garden gnomes in love. To the tune of "possibly a few new tracks" by Elton John. Presumably this is all contingent on whether the Weinsteins is successful in his bid for his old shingle; if so, you just know it'll be cheaper to recycle the songs from Nine with new lyrics by Harvey himself. Prepare accordingly, and good luck. UPDATE, 2:39 p.m.: A "business and legal affairs" representative for the film writes to tell us the Craigslist post above is the work of a scam artist. Sorry! Hope you're a size 4-6 with natural breasts after all.

· Exclusive Pirates of the Caribbean Casting Call [Moviehole]

· Gnomeo and Juliet Pre Cast [Craigslist]