23 Questions About Lost Episode 608, 'Recon,' Answered!

Is the way that Sawyer agreed to help both Smokey and Charles Widmore carry out their conflicting plans to annihilate one another a double-cross, a triple-cross, or a quadruple-cross?

We tried to work through the math and have only a splitting headache to show for the effort. First Sawyer agrees to find out what's up on Hydra Island to help Smokey. Then he's captured by Widmore's people and brought to the sub, where he tells Charles he'll happily lead Smokey into any kind of trap his little inscrutable billionaire industrialist heart desires, leading to this exchange:

WIDMORE: How do I know I can trust you?

SAWYER: Same way I know I can trust you.

FIRST OFFICER STALEMATE: This situation is a stalemate. You're going to have to pretend to trust one another to move the plot along.

WIDMORE: By God, he's right.

SAWYER: [silently tries to figure out an angle where he gets to sleep with Zoe]

WIDMORE: Hello?

SAWYER: Oh, sorry. Right. Looks like we're just gonna have to do it my way, Daddy Warbucks.

Then Sawyer went back to the main island, where he told Smokey all about the way he's going to lead Widmore and his goons right into the eye-watering, clothes-dirtying assault of a Smoke Monster attack.

So whose side is Sawyer on?

He's on his own side. He even tells Kate that so that our confused headaches will stop pounding.

What's behind that locked door on Widmore's sub?

Internet Lostologists are divided on this issue. Some popular theories:

*Desmond

*The cast of the The OC (except for Mischa Barton)

*Vincent the dog

*A delivery of magic chlorine for the still-filthy reincarnation jacuzzi at the temple

*The engagement ring Sawyer heaved into the ocean, which the sub picked up on its way to the dock

*hundreds of Driveshaft CDs

*Sayid's Fisher Price My First Torture Implements set from his time in Republican Guard preschool

*refills for Richard Alpert's guyliner pencil

*Jay Leno, eavesdropping in an attempt to steal Charles Widmore's job

*Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse, giggling as they wait to jump out and yell, "The Island is Purgatory! The Island is Purgatory!"

In Sawyer's scheme to escape the island in the submarine while the forces of Smokey and Widmore battle it out, who's going to pilot it?

How hard can it be? It's not like he's gonna suggest something unrealistic, like trying to fly that Ajira Airways jet back to the mainland.

Now that we know Sawyer is a police in the flash-copways, why did he not try to stop Kate, whose handcuffs clearly indicated she was some kind of prisoner, in the elevator at LA X?

Because she's hot? And because he was secretly hoping that she would one day soon crash a car into him, giving him the opportunity to entrap her into interrogation-room sex with a promise he'd let her go again. (He, of course, would not let her go after the sex. We know how he operates now.)

Where are Jack, Hurley and the rest of the good guys?

They're playing a game of slow-motion volleyball on the beach, while a lovely, swelling Michael Giacchino score punctuates their every joyful spike.

Who is Richard Alpert?

Next episode, kids. Next episode.

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