Late Night Highlights: Jay Leno Takes on Drug Lords and Eddie Izzard Destroys a Set

Pop quiz: You're producing a late night talk show and one of your guests for the next night cancels. What do you do? If you're the Late Show, your talent department speed dials Regis Philbin. If you're the Tonight Show, you cue up some last-minute Headlines or text message Chelsea Handler and ask props to come up with some kinky set ideas. And if you're the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, you enlist that day's guest (Lisa Kudrow) to just tape four segments to spread across the next two shows and bribe your comedian friend to do a last-minute segment for free gin and tonics. Of course, the latter option has consequences, like a destroyed set, but those are the risks you take on CBS, as any CBS host would tell you. Click through for that clip, as well as the other highlights you missed last night while consulting your new psychic manager.

4. Disrespect a National Landmark and Then Your Wife

Ozzy Osbourne stopped by Lopez Tonight to share some stories (that his fans can relate to) from his autobiography I Am Ozzy. The first, if you can understand, is a story about walking around the Alamo in a green evening dress with a bottle of Courvoisier and the second, is a coke-fueled tale of how the rocker made a lasting impression on his wife.

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