American Idol Recap: Will You Ever Win?
It wasn't just Didi Benami's version of "Rhiannon" that asked the titular question -- it was us too, responding to the realization that we have two months of competition left before an inevitable winner is chosen from these three ladies: Will you ever win, Didi, Siobhan, or Crystal? We rank last night's eight razzle-dazzling girls from bottom to top, after the jump.
8. Katie Stevens: "Breakaway"
Katie Stevens's winning streak of... having nicely combed hair is about to come to an uncombed end. Her take on the Kelly Clarkson hit was so flat that I wouldn't even allow it to grace the From Justin to Kelly soundtrack. Katie needed an original rendition to elevate her into possible Top 12 contention, but that's not what we got. Farewell, please!
7. Paige Miles: "Smile"
Paige was ignored by Idol's fickle cameras prior to her Top 24 placement, and that's still a hurdle for the young talent. Her performances have been serviceable, but never standout. This version of the Chaplin Chaplin-penned "Smile," which was famously played at Michael Jackson's hyperdome funeral, was like a funeral itself -- but a plebeian one in a parlor with bad siding. That's the wrong kind of tribute, Pa-Mi. See, you can't even do fun tricks with her name. (YouTube opted not to post this clip, so... that reflects the world's feeling about her chances.)
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When you google "Siobhan Magnus" under "images"> on the second page of results is a cover of High Times featuring Willie Nelson holding two giant buds of weed.
Coincidence?
I don't know what bothers me more a) that I will never understand the allure of Siobhan Magnus or b) that I agree with Kara (of all people!) when I say I don't know what kind of artist she'll make.
Who listens to R-E-S-P-E-C-T or the House of the Rising Sun and says "You know what those songs need, less soul. Less grit. Someone needs to go in there, and clean that shit up. Make it pretty." She adds a certain, Julie Andrews is going Downtown vibe to all her songs that for some reason, people really want. When she sings, I don't hear Soul. I don't hear Rock. I don't hear Country. I do, however, hear Up With People. Perhaps, she's in Simon's dreaded "Broadway" category, and that's why he can't support her. The question remains, what kind of albums would she produce? Christmas songs? A remake of You Light Up My LIfe? Wessonality?