5 Resemblances Between Lindsay Lohan and the E*TRADE Baby She is Suing

When I first heard that Lindsay Lohan had filed suit against E*TRADE for featuring a "milkaholic" baby named Lindsay in one of its commercials -- and that Lohan's rep shrugged off the fact that the name "Lohan" was never uttered in the ad by saying, "Do you know the name Oprah? Do you know the name Madonna? Same thing" -- I thought to myself, "Here we go again. People are linking to one of HuffPo's 'Borowitz Reports' and not realizing that those are satire." But no! This is a real thing! The question is, does Lohan have a case?

Here are five strong resemblances between baby Lindsay and putative adult Lindsay, as seen in this ad:

1) Both began acting at a very early age

2) Both clearly lack any sort of meaningful adult supervision

3) Both are possibly wearing a Chrome Hearts full-sleeve tee borrowed from Wilmer Valderrama, then accidentally shrunken in the wash

4) Both display real screen presence, yet the idea of a long, fruitful career is uncertain

5) Both may be holding hidden surprises in their pants

Open-and-shut case, guys! Millions for everybody!

Lindsay Lohan Sues E*TRADE: I'm No Milkaholic! [TMZ]