And the Winner of Last Night's 'Most Orange' Prize Is....

One of the best parts of awards season being broadcast in HD is recoiling in horror as an otherwise beautiful actor, coated in fake tanner, is allowed to leave the house by a sunglasses-clad publicist who's regretfully coked to the gills. But with more attendees at last night's Oscars choosing to embrace paler shades, former Orange winner Charlize Theron respectfully deferring to the new guard, and Bradley Cooper nowhere to be found, the few contenders left for Movieline's "Most Orange" prize stood out like umber, unnatural beacons. Let's meet our nominees and our winner!

Nominee #1: Inglourious Basterds star Christoph Waltz! (Respectfully introduced by George Hamilton)

Nominee #2: Random pre-show host Kathy Ireland! (The recipient of a heartfelt introduction from Snooki)

Nominee #3: Oscar co-producer Adam Shankman! (Miraculously paid tribute to by an actual, talking tangerine.)

Nominee #4: Best Director presenter Barbra Streisand! (To whom Donatella Versace said, "Hopefull-ee, histor-ee will be may-duh."

And our winner, Sarah Jessica Parker, who made husband Matthew Broderick look like an albino in comparison! Congratulations, SJP. Sorry, Jason Reitman: You were shut out here, too.