Lamentations for American Idol's Four Eliminated Contestants
Ashley Rodriguez
I Will Miss Most: Your fun, finger-pointy dance from the Top 24 video. Nice to meet you, America! Pointy-point.
What Could've Been: Randy Jackson continuously comparing her to Jordin Sparks, because her smile is large and she is known to wear outfits.
Eulogy: Your unchecked bitterness after being eliminated last night was a joy to behold. The fussy nodding and scrunched mouth qualified you to challenge Regina George for lunchtable supremancy.
Tyler Grady
I Will Miss Most: The dreamy curls. The spindly frame. The sort-of singing.
What Could've Been: Inevitable covers of "Another Brick in the Wall (Part 2)," "My Generation," and "Light My Fire."
Eulogy: You were right to say the judges gave you the wrong criticisms. And you're more interesting than, say, Tim Urban or Alex Lambert. To invoke Victoria Beckham's initial praises of your talent, you really gave us "great jeans" and "a good face" and "a nice look." Just like Beethoven.
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Comments
I thought it was interesting that when Tyler Grady gave his response to his ousting, saying that the judges criticisms came a bit too late, the director switched to the Cowell-Cam and you could clearly see Simon saying "good point". And it was-- all through H-week they were like "70's! Yay!" and then we get to the TV show and they're all "70's? WTF?"
Not that he was *good* or anything, but it was kind of a bait-and-switch on the poor sap.
I'm sad Tyler's gone. No one wants to hear another note from Mumbles the Mullet.