Rozlyn 'Big' Papa to Bachelor Host: 'No, My Friend. The Lying Letch is You'

Rozlyn Papa, the Bachelor contestant who reduced host Chris Harrison to TEARS when it came out she was having an "inappropriate relationship" with defiantly man-kimono'd Bachelor producer Ryan Callahan, returned to the viper's nest for last night's Women Tell All reunion. It made for sublime television, as a jury of angry former McMansionmates tried and convicted the gorgeous model and makeup entrepreneur on national TV. Witness One saw her and Callahan "making out in the hallway," Witness Two saw her "stick her ass in the air on the couch," Witness Three saw some "thigh-stroking," and Witness Four, her roommate, "looked all over for her one night and couldn't find her." Rozlyn denied it all, insisting to the end that she and Callahan were only friends.

But the women pressed on -- one even swore on her dog's life! Then Rozlyn swore on her child's life! And the audience gasped at the gall of this mendacious harlot! Most disgusted of all was Chris Harrison himself, who, presiding over this surgically-enhanced-kangaroo court, asked, "Show of hands, any producers or parents swing by your houses since you've been gone?" after Papa admitted Callahan had visited her with his father shortly after they had both been dismissed from the series. He later called him a "friend" he was sad to see go,to which Papa replied, "He said that's news to him, especially when you were hitting on his wife in New Zealand. He thought that was crazy." UH. MAY. ZING.

Harrison (who, it bears repeating, CRIED over this and thinks THE BACHELOR IS REAL LIFE) sat stunned for a moment, then replied, "I clearly won't dignify that with a response." He then bid Papa adieu with a quiet prayer for redemption, saying, "I hope truly in my heart that you have learned a life lesson and I hope you will become a better person for this." That pleased the rest the tribunal, their heads held high knowing that unlike Roz, they were completely* honest and upstanding women.

*Except in matters involving claims to having significant feelings for a man with the personality of a crash test dummy, whom they met six weeks prior on a competitive reality show.

· Rozlyn Papa Returns To 'Bachelor' To Deny Affair and Slam Host [PopEater]