9 Recent Movies That Could Be Rebooted Next
Avatar
"OK, yes, biggest movie ever made -- but couldn't it be bigger?"
"What are we thinking?"
"Sam Worthington. And maybe do it in 3D."
"That's...that's what they already did."
"..."
"Like, you realize that you suggested that literally because of Avatar."
"Clean out your desk."
Terminator
"OK guys, we bought the rights to Terminator. What do we do with it?"
"A 'versus' movie. Like Aliens vs. Predator."
"What do we have the Terminator fight?"
"Vampires."
"Of course. They turn John Connor into a vampire."
"Not they. The Cullens. Edward Cullen turns him into a vampire."
"That might present a rights issue."
"The Vampire Diaries, then. The guy from The Vampire Diaries turns John Connor into a vampire, and then they both fall in love with a female Terminator."
"Can we make the Terminator a human? I feel like I'm not sparking to the love triangle unless she's a human."
"So...there's no Terminator, then?"
"We'll tease it for the sequel."
"What are we calling this?"
"Vampires: Terminator."
"Vampires: Terminator: The Beginning."
"I can see the video game already."
The Hobbit
"Don't you think it's a little too soon to reboot The Hobbit?"
"I'm not following."
"It's just, they haven't even started shooting it yet."
"Right, but shouldn't we reboot it while we still have those sets built?"
"So what are you saying?"
"Two different crews. Two different sets of actors. Same sets."
"And we put the second version in a vault for ten years."
"I'm going to want it in four."
"Four years. But how do we know who will be popular in four years?"
"We use Twitter. What's trending right now on Twitter?"
"Adam Lambert. Adam Lambert as Bilbo Baggins."
"Yes. All pop stars. Lady Gaga as Galadriel."
"Who plays Viggo Mortensen?"
"I don't think Viggo is in this one--"
"Taylor Lautner. Shirtless."
"Done."
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Comments
I, for one, look forward to Taylor Lautner and his fourteen glorious glistening abs in Avatars: 4D.
Eventually it's going to get to the point that studios are going to be rebooting a franchise while the film is still being shot... which will be a good thing, we won't have to sit through endless reiterations of this regurgitated crap.
I think the sequel should be Vampire Terminators vs Werewolf Transformers.
In 4-D!
What about The Hurt Locker? Bruckheimer's already developing a crossover flick with Pirates of the Caribbean, and I think there's got to be a little more juice in the concept.