9 Recent Movies That Could Be Rebooted Next
Harry Potter
"I think it's time to redo these, don't you?"
"They're not in 3D, and they need to be in 3D."
"Should we make it American?"
"Yes. We'll get all the best American actors to play the teachers."
"Jeff Bridges as Dumbledore and Meryl Streep as Maggie Smith."
"Love it. Who's Harry?"
"Taylor Lautner."
"Taylor Lautner will be fucking 30 by the time this series is done. We need the young Taylor Lautner."
"Justin Bieber."
"I'm not sure who that is, but I want it."
It's Complicated
"I love Meryl. I love Alec. But--
"Too old."
"Exactly."
"So Sandra Bullock. Gerard Butler. But who's the third?"
"Bradley Cooper."
"I don't think we want to remind people of All About Steve."
"Do you have a problem with All About Steve? I greenlit that movie."
"I..."
"That movie overperformed in South America. It was a big hit. They called it La Blanca Autista."
Star Trek
"Chis Pine. So good. I want to be in the Chris Pine business. But I kind of want to be in the Sam Worthington business more?"
"So Sam as Kirk?"
"Sam as Kirk."
"Are we sure we want to go older on this?"
"Sam is older?"
"Yeah, like a couple years older."
"Can we change that?"
"I'm on it."
"Do we keep Spock?"
"I think we could go younger on Spock."
"Kristen Stewart--"
"I literally was about to say Kristen Stewart."
"Do you think the fans will get upset about Spock being a girl?"
"Alternate universe. She meets Zachary Quinto's Spock and he gives her his seal of approval."
"And then they fall in love."
"Wow. Twist."
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Comments
I, for one, look forward to Taylor Lautner and his fourteen glorious glistening abs in Avatars: 4D.
Eventually it's going to get to the point that studios are going to be rebooting a franchise while the film is still being shot... which will be a good thing, we won't have to sit through endless reiterations of this regurgitated crap.
I think the sequel should be Vampire Terminators vs Werewolf Transformers.
In 4-D!
What about The Hurt Locker? Bruckheimer's already developing a crossover flick with Pirates of the Caribbean, and I think there's got to be a little more juice in the concept.