New Killers Trailer: My Mother, My Lover

A commenter asked here the other day if I could ever discuss Katherine Heigl on Movieline without being needlessly bitter or snarky. The answer all along was and is "yes," as evidenced by my first reaction to the new trailer for her forthcoming film Killers. Heigl looks as though she may have perfected a role she's played several times: the fussy, neurotic single woman who lands the unlikely man of her dreams when she least expects it. She seems to handle her half of their screwball romance -- especially the part after she discovers he's a CIA operative -- with conviction and charismatic aplomb. Alas, there's a problem: "He" is Ashton Kutcher.

Nothing against Ms. Heigl, but come on. Kutcher looks young enough to be her son. In fact, forget that he's got the baby face and washboard abs of anything but a secret agent, even one of the Hollywood variety. Once Heigl lets her hair down in customary, post-bliss fashion, the physical mismatch of lovers has to give way to the bullet-riddled caper that follows; there's no reason to believe these two would stick together otherwise. I mean, there's no reason to believe anything going on here, really, whether it's Tom Selleck as Heigl's father (sternly demanding an adjacent hotel room for his single daughter on a family vacation) or the ratio of Heigl-shrieks to actual dialogue or Talking Heads selling "Psycho Killer" to Lionsgate. Actually, one might believe Catherine O'Hara drinking a bloody mary the size of her head. Other than that, no.

Not that "believe" is the key here, of course. Will America buy it? Yes it will. But will you? Do you?

VERDICT: I doubt it.