21 Questions About Last Night's Lost, Answered!

If last week's Lost premiere detonated a hydrogen bomb in our brains that left one lobe in 2004, seemingly untouched by five seasons' worth of mind-scrambling plot twists, and the other in 2007, covered in the debris from Desmond's exercise bike, its second episode was all about slowing things down and giving us a little time to heal before the next round of grievous cerebral harm. And so after evaluating our favorite characters' relative positions on both the "Hey, the bomb worked!" and "Oh, the bomb didn't work!" timelines, this week we'll pause to ask and answer some of the questions presented in Tuesday night's less-eventful installment. (There will, of course, be SPOILERS AHEAD. Stop time-shifting on DVR and destroying ABC's profits, ingrates.)

How is it possible that Sayid "died," but then was able to wake up and have a nice chat with Jack, Kate and Sawyer?

Good karma! As Sawyer adroitly pointed out, "He's an Iraqi torturer who shoots kids. Of course he gets another go-around." But what the bitter, still-grieving Island Wiseass Nickname Generator failed to note: He's an Iraqi-torturer-who-shoots-kids with a heart of gold. That does, indeed, earn him another go-around, even if he might be a teensy bit possessed by some still-undisclosed entity.

Why would the Temple Hippies try to poison Sayid if he might actually be possessed by Jacob?

Well, maybe he's not possessed by Jacob after all! Just because some smarty-pantses guessed that Jacob's soul leaked out through all those Ben Linus stab-holes, flew across the island, mixed with the filthy Temple spa water, then entered Sayid via his gunshot wound, doesn't mean that they're correct. Be patient, lots of mumbo-jumbo about being "claimed" awaits.

Would you ever take a mystery pill offered to you by a dude who looks like a bad guy from a low-budget kung-fu flick and an unnecessary translator with a John Lennon fixation, no matter how sincere they seemed?

No.

Isn't Sayid acting different post-resurrection?

He's been through a lot. Cut him some slack. Also, he's been "claimed." That will take a lot out of a reincarnated torturer with a heart of gold.

Is Sayid a zombie?

No. [deep sigh] Sayid is not a zombie. He's "claimed." Watch til the end before you ask stupid questions, Hurley. (Fine, being claimed might have something to do with zombies. Who knows? We apologize for snapping at you, big guy.)

Why does Miles have to be so sarcastic about Hurley assuming a leadership position?

He really cost himself some leadership points with that zombie question. And Miles is very protective of his dead-whispering turf.

Why does Jack seem so down on himself this season?

Because everyone who listens to him gets shot, captured, blown up by an h-bomb in the bottom of a muddy hole, or otherwise finds themselves in mortal peril. There are no therapists on the island with whom he can talk through his newfound confidence problems. Before Juliet died, he tried having a heart-to-heart with Sawyer, but he just sneered, called him Doctor Pussyfeelings, then tried to sell Jack a pair of Shannon's panties he stole in season one. And if he went to Kate with his issues, she'd just run away.

Kate sure does run away a lot, doesn't she?

It's "What Kate Does."

Were you a little disappointed that Arzt's bag didn't detonate when Kate hit it with the stolen cab, spraying meaty bits of Arztflesh all over the LAX crosswalk?

Yeah, a little. Blowing Arzt into tiny Arztbits would've been an excellent way to tie the two timelines together.

If you needed to, say, remove a pair of handcuffs for which you'd "misplaced" the key, what tool would you use? Tire hammer?

Nope. Punch press all the way.

If some crazy lady had just hijacked your cab at gunpoint, would you get back in that cab when that person returned to offer you a ride to see the people who were supposed to adopt the baby about to burst from your uterus?

No, but we'd totally give her our credit card if she hung out with us in the hospital for a little while. Our deepest, most inexplicable bonds are made in times of great stress. Or when we need to move the plot forward awkwardly.

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