Our Commenters of the Week Win a Pole State Correspondence Degree in Stripperology!

This week's Commenters of the Week don't need to fish through Lindsay Lohan's piles of tampons, unopened DVDs, and vodka-powered time machines to get the degree in Stripperology they've always needed. We'll gladly hand it to them, free of charge/disease! The recent revelation that the Mean Girls star is a hoarder should surprise no one, but her carelessness with such a fine certificate in straddling the tip bar is a shame for the ages. So, who wins the diploma?

Old No. 7 on Offensive NBC Cafeteria Menu Probably Jay Leno's Fault, Somehow: "Hey, I didn't know that NBC hired Fuzzy Zoeller."

Ndege on The 10 Most Monstrous Jason Reitman Quotes From One 10-Minute Conversation with Roger Ebert: "Let's cut him some slack. These were 1st draft answers. Without a co-writer."

FrancousTrueFaux on Avatar, Hurt Locker Lead 82nd Oscar Nominations: "Did their divorce stipulate that they must equally share all Oscar noms accumulated between them?"

HWoodHills on The 10 Most Monstrous Jason Reitman Quotes From One 10-Minute Conversation with Roger Ebert: "I'm sensing #3's answer might leave him Up In The Air when it comes to sexual gratification."

The Winchester on Secret of Kells Crushes A Christmas Carol, Ice Age, Meatballs in Massive Oscars Upset: "It's because Avatar is a game-changer. Duh."

Congrats to our winning quintet!