Lost Premiere: How's That Flash-Sideways Deal Working Out For Our Favorite Castaways?
Hurley
2004: "Nothing bad ever happens to me! I am the luckiest man in the world!"
2007: "Holy sh*t, someone's gonna bring up those cursed numbers again, and a meteor's going to fall out of the sky and scorch off my balls! And even if it doesn't, I'm stuck on this island where a smoke monster could fly up my ass at any time and turn me into a girthy marionette! I am the unluckiest man in the world!"
Advantage: 2004. He's got like a hundred million bucks to get back to, and Cheech.
Sawyer
2004: You know what? Riding around in airport elevators, hoping to maybe get a little naughty with a hot chick in handcuffs if she can shake the cops long enough for him to get his shirt off, doesn't sound so bad.
2007: The love of his life just died at the bottom of a filthy hole because her ex-boyfriend -- his longtime sexual foil-- thought blowing up the island would make everything right again. He's had better years.
Advantage: 2004. Though it's possible Freckles will throw him some sympathy tail to help along the grieving process.
Sayid Jarrah
2004: On 815, happy as a former-torturer-looking-at-a-photo-of-his-ladyfriend!
2007: Dying of a gunshot wound, the gang rushes him to the Temple, as per the newly slaughtered Jacob's instructions to Hurley. Upon arriving at the Temple, the Angry Temple Keeper cracks open the wooden ankh in Jacob's guitar case, reads a note that says, "Take the long-haired, bloody one to the dirty jacuzzi, drown his ass in the water you incompetent fools seem unable to properly chlorinate, and prepare his body for my resurrection. Your god-pal, J," Other John Lennon and Angry Temple Keeper follow these instructions to the letter, and in the final moments of the show, Sayid, possibly possessed by Jacob's spirit, is all, "Wha happun?" [muffled noise, rotating Lost logo, roll credits]
Advantage: 2004.
Jin and Sun
2004: Trapped in a loveless marriage. Hassled by customs for possible smuggling.
2007: Happily married, having reconnected though trauma. Still pregnant. (Right?*) Jin's even learned English!
Advantage: 2007, unless the Smoke Monster eats their baby, or Sun dies in childbirth because of the island curse. (*Assuming Sun is pregnant. We've totally lost track of her uterine status in the timestream. She is possibly not pregnant. OK!)
(UPDATE: As several commenters have pointed out, Sun had the baby off the island, and is therefore not pregnant. OK! )
Richard Alpert
2004: Presumably dead in the Jughead blast.
2007: Had ass kicked by the Man in Locke. Not so tough now, are you, Guyliner?
Advantage: Push
Desmond Hume
2004: Now you see him hanging around Oceanic 815, now you don't! Hey, where'd he go?
2007: Never leaving Penny's side again. Unless he somehow gets time-flashed back to button-pressing duty. (Leave Desmond alone, fickle hand of Fate!)
Advantage: 2004
Subscribe to the new Movieline on YouTube
Comments
Fan-bloody-tastic.
This is awesome. And interestingly, "Agog Mob of Others" was the name of my band in college.* Great post.
* in one of my alternate realities
for the record (haven't you guys ever heard of Lostpedia.com) sun was pregs in 2004, had the baby and Ji Yeon is now 2 years old. which is why Sun commented on the potential playdate with Aaron.
Wait, was that a joke, about 2007 Sun and Jin? She had her baby on the mainland after she escaped, they haven't seen each other in three years? Guess some could consider that happily married?
Great comparisons. Looks like 2004 was better for most of them, especially the English language. 🙂
Yet, don't you remember 2-3 years passed between when pregnant Sun left the island and when she returned on flight 316? Her daughter was left in Korea (presumably).
I thought Sun had her baby off the island and is not pregnaut in 2007. Also, I think Jack's father's coffin was lost in transit by the Island, meaning Jack's Father's spirit is destined to become part of the island even submerged.
Loved this:
The English Language
2004: Everyone seems pretty happy with it.
2007: Angry Temple Keeper “doesn’t like the taste of it on his tongue.”
Advantage: 2004!
Is it to be assumed that the temple dwelling others consist, at least in part, of all of the survivors of the crash that were kidnapped in the very beginning? Was Walk kidnapped by a different group of others? Were Michael & Walt the only two original survivors not shown on the parallel 2004 plane?
I just answered, somewhat, my own question...Boone's sister was also not on the parallel plane.
I would say it was more of a "man in a Locke suit" rather than him actually being in Locke.
Also no Ana Lucia, Eko or Libby in the alterna-flashes. And I can't really imagine why Shannon wouldn't have come back with Boone b/c of the island bomb.
Who is the "Man in Black"?
Haha, nice kicker at the end.
No one seems to have pointed this out yet, but Sun and Jin seem to not only be unhappy, but unmarried in 2004. (No wedding rings, and the guard at security addresses her as "Miss Paik.")
If Jacob, Richard, and Ben all died in the 1977 blast, then they wouldn't have been around to manipulate everybody else's realities to get them to the island in no-crash 2004. Only the puppet strings Jacob pulled before 1977 would still be in effect - Sawyer's folks' murder-suicide; Kate smirkingly taught "not" to steal; Jack's illegitimate half-sister sleeping out her daddy issues Down Under; his drunk, hypercompetitive surgeon-dad raising him to follow in his footsteps before wandering off to die on a daughter-seeking bender; all the generational conflict among the powerful Widmore, Faraday, and Paak families. Maybe that explains why some of the crew ends up on the plane in alternate 2004 and some don't.