Udo Kier: The Movieline Interview

Do you have a title for it?

Don't Bite in Wood or something like that. I have no idea. I will come up with something because I think I want to do this, I'm told people want to produce it. It's a combination of Dracula and the Werewolf, because I'll have to be on all fours going down and waiting at the corner for some beautiful prostitute to bite in the leg.

So you've found a way to combine werewolves and vampires into one monster!

Exactly. And maybe Dr. Frankenstein is in the castle or laboratory watching CNN, and seeing the new attack of Dracula biting into a woman's leg.

And maybe the wooden leg goes through your heart and kills you!

Well, maybe she fights me off like that. I haven't gotten that far yet. I think the plot is, biting the wooden leg, and he gets stuck.

Sounds good, I'm there.

There you have it. I think films should have much more sense of humor, and a wonderful sense, not calculated. When a film has a calculated sense of humor it never works. Not for me -- maybe it works for someone who works in a field all day long.

Fall Down Dead was one of David Carradine's last movies.

Yes.

Were you close?

I never even saw him on that shoot. All our scenes were shot separately.

Had you worked together before?

I worked with him after! I made a film which hasn't come out yet called Night of the Templar. We even had a sword fight together. As a person -- and I'm not just saying this because he's dead -- he was a really wonderful person. We had wonderful conversation, and he was very funny. If you don't have a sense of humor, you're lost.

Was his death a surprise to you?

Death is never a surprise. We're artists and actors, living in a very strange environment. You're confronted all the time with very strange things. Technology is advancing; for example, I'm on Facebook -- it's not me. I'm on Twitter -- it's not me. I'm everywhere, but it's not me. What can you do, we're living in a very fast world. I never knew how he really did die. There were so many rumors. I just can say that he was a nice guy, and when people die, you just never know.

So how do your fans find the real Udo on Twitter or Facebook?

They don't, because I'm not there. It's other people pretending to be me, so it's very weird. From time to time I have to call my lawyer, if they get too feisty. But I'm going to make a little film very soon, a 3-minute horror film in the bathroom with a lot of blood and maybe with a sex doll from the store, and I'm going to put it everywhere online as a thank-you to my fans. I'm going to go crazy with a rubber doll and a few buckets of blood, because it's time to say thank you for 40 years.

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