Mad Men Power Rankings, Week 14: 'It's Not Starting Over. It's Just Starting.'

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7. Paul Kinsey/Ken Cosgrove (tie) (up) Last week: unranked

It's hard to feel bad about the Tiger Tone-Deaf and the Golden Boy watching their professional lives implode around them, but there was something very poignant about the two of them sitting in Don's abandoned office after hours, passing a half-empty bottle of his booze between them, and wondering:

"They're gonna call for us soon, right?"

"Tomorrow, I'm sure."

"It's been a few days. I'm starting to worry."

"They're busy. They'll call."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

But the look on Achilles the Janitor's face as he rolled by with his mop-bucket, made Kenny's voice a tiny bit shakier:

"They're just busy. That's all."

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8. Sally Draper (up) Last week: Last week 9

Sally Draper PatricideWatch: Mommy got the message. Finally. All those nights, when Daddy was working late, when she stole into her bedroom, found Mommy asleep, alone again, and whispered in her ear while she slumbered: Leave him. He lies. Just leave. I'll take care of it all, Mommy. Don't you worry. I promise. It was all going according to plan. Sally was ready to act, grabbing the fork just like Bobby did to attack his porkchop, huddling under her covers. But she crept into the bedroom, and Daddy wasn't there. He was in Grandpa Gene's room, and no way was she going down there. It's scary in there! And Grandpa Gene would be watching. He wanted Daddy to go away, but probably wants Bobby to do it because he's a boy. But he's a weak boy. Grandpa would get mad and start hanging around in her room. Daddy will sleep in the big bed tomorrow, probably. Then she can take care of things for Mommy. And start planning to get rid of Not-Daddy Henry. He'll be next.

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9. Lane Pryce (down) Last week: 4

OK, so maybe Lane has been hanging around the suite a little too much. The talk with Rebecca could've gone better. Indeed, the Putnam Powell Lowe sale might have made a good excuse to return home to London, something of a clean break with NY and all it represented, but she wasn't seeing the opportunity he'd just been handed. Yes, it meant more time in the city she still loathed. But she'd warm to it if she'd just let herself think of it as home. And it was going to be home for a while. Perhaps a long while. Sometimes a man just needs to put his foot down and stop letting himself be pushed around by everybody. The abusive old bosses, the temporarily dissatisfied wife, whomever. Oh, no, he doesn't mind moving his things in the corner over there so the guys have a little more room to work. Not at all! Whatever you need, Mrs. Harris. This tiny space is fine. It's quite nice, actually. Cheers.

henry_francis_thumbnail.jpg10. Henry Francis (down) Last week:

She's already smoking too many cigarettes and looking bored, dude. Your days are numbered. It might be a high number, but they're numbered nonetheless.

And watch out for Sally. Imagine what she can do to her Not-Daddy. You've been warned.

Not ranked: Bertram Cooper, Sal Romano, the room service cart, Lee Garner Sr., Jane Sterling, Trudy Campbell, Don's abandoned bottle of booze, the sad cocktail waitress, Pete's pastrami sandwich wax paper, Duck Phillips, the coffee table.

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Comments

  • hellcat says:

    Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce DooDah DooDah

  • Fernando Platt says:

    Is this some sort of epic prank in which you review a non-existent episode of Mad Men or am I so truly out of the loop that I thought I witnessed a season finale with "Shut the door. Have a seat"?

  • snarkordie says:

    My thoughts exactly. I'm semi-hyperventilating over here -- did I miss something?!?!

  • emberglance says:

    Bastards.

  • ytorf says:

    Yes. I was sad to see Mad Men leave for the year, but even sadder to lose the Don Draper Fingerbang Threat Level. I figure by week 18 he'll have fingerbanged half of SCDP just to show everyone who's boss around the hotel room.

  • rebecca says:

    Are you going to do this until next summer??
    If Miss Farrell returns next season I'll cry. Worst character ever!

  • busterbluth says:

    Thank you.

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