More AFM Revelations: Will We Ever See Rob Schneider's American Virgin?

Last week brought a studious browse through this year's American Film Market catalog, revealing some of the must-see Luke Perry offerings and Val Kilmer double features populating the annual sales confab. While a few more accomplished titles have stirred domestic buyer interest, the search continues for international distributors seeking just the right Z-movie to take home as a souvenir from Santa Monica. Today, another on-site observer reports with at least one more spectacular candidate from the wreckage.

THR took a stroll through the Market last weekend, where tires were kicked and jaws were dropped. How else to explain the reaction to actual taglines and synopses like "Broken Hill is Billy Elliot meets August Rush set in the Outback," or the existence of Rob Schneider's potential comeback hit, American Virgin? The report doesn't dignify the film with a description, but it's conveniently located at IMDB, and it got me wondering why Russia, Romania, Mexico and Brazil are the only countries daring enough (so far) to take a chance:

A Freshman College Girl (Jenna Dewan) on a scholarship from an abstinence group that advocates saving sex until marriage discovers that her antics on a night of debauchery, when she reluctantly got drunk for the first time in her life, were captured on camera by a sleazy video producer. Now she and her friends must travel across country to recover the incriminating footage.

So, by the aforementioned this-meets-that-set-there logic, it's like The Hangover meets Sex and the City set on the open road. Meets Girls Gone Wild. Or something. Anyway, what could go wrong? It's even got Verge honoree Bo Burnham classing up the proceedings, so let's just say it cancels out the Schneider Factor. There's even a trailer!

Frankly, American Virgin has so much Bad Movies We Love promise that it seems criminal to bury it in the States -- or anywhere else for that matter. That said, who's the market? It's like some soft-core empowerment narrative, featuring just enough romcom flavor for the ladies and just enough tits for the guys. It may very well be our first post-gender date movie and a trenchant commentary on fame, just sitting there waiting to be discovered in a bargain bin at the Loews Santa Monica. Someone take this home already, and see if you can get that Teri Polo thriller thrown in for half-off while you're at it. That looks great.

· A land where Eric Roberts is an A-lister and Rob Schneider an Oscar nominee [Risky Business]