Mad Men Power Rankings, Week Thirteen: 'Well, Gentlemen, I Suppose You're Fired.'
9. Sally Draper (up) Last week: unranked.
Sally Draper PatricideWatch: Sure, she acted "heartbroken" when Mommy and Daddy told her and Bobby that Daddy would be moving away, hoping to lure a sad Daddy back home to his doom. But did she show her hand too much when she lashed out at Daddy, sobbing, "You say things and you don't mean them! And you can't just do that!" Was that too over the top, did she go too big? Will Daddy figure out something's wrong, and never again cuddle up to her on the cot in Granpa Gene's creepy room, making an easy, slumbering target for her lethally modified safety-scissors? Will Daddy just start a new family with some other lady (Miss Farrell? She was always getting that "I wanna be your new mommy" vibe from her favorite teacher) if she scares him off? She's got to reel it in a little bit and consider her next move. See you next season, Daddy.
10. Pappy Whitman (up) Last week: unranked
It's a formative moment in any desperately poor farm boy's life when his Pappy takes him out to the barn, gives him his first swig of moonshine from a jug with XXX emblazoned on the side, and then watches as his father is promptly kicked to death by a horse. You really never get over that one.
On the bubble: Bertram Cooper, for finally showing some spunk instead of sealing himself and his employees in a golden tomb. He's not going to go three-years-and-out and keel over on the golf course. There's plenty of rapey, octopod-based Japanese art yet to buy for his new office.
Not ranked: Cosgrove Kinsey Kurtsmitty, the Fart Department, Duck Phillips, Miss Farrell, Sal Romano, Connie Hilton, Moneypenny, the Sterling Cooper secretarial pool, Bobby Draper, the ghost of Grandpa Gene, Ho-Ho, the Demoral Caterpillar, the Backstory Box, Guy McKendrick, the John Deere 110, Dr. Greg "Dumbfingers" Harris, Focus Group Guy with the French Bulldog, Haunted Barbie, Achilles the Janitor, Danny Farrell, Mother Sterling, Lee "Handsy" Garner Jr, Hilton: Sea of Tranquility, Gertrude the Despoiled Au Pair, the two horny Italian guys, Doug and Sandy the Hippie Grifters, Ann-Margaret, Patio cola, London Fog, the handjobby bellhop, the easy stewardess, Burt Peterson, the Maypole.
Fun fact perhaps apropos of nothing: In two of television finest dramas, Mad Men and Friday Night Lights, the third season ended with our hero having to pack up and move his operation down the street to start over. If nothing else, there's a nice symmetry to that. And it's fun to imagine Coach Taylor taking up smoking in nice suits and Don Draper in a red Lions hat and khaki shorts, barking at a locker-room full of soft kids who need to learn how to win.
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Comments
I have to say that the Don Draper Fingerbang Threat Level has been my favorite part of the entire internet for the past few months, and I might even miss it more than the show.
When the show gets to the 70s I hope they give Joan, Sal and Peggy a variety hour. With cut-ins before commercial breaks from Roger Sterling.
not gonna lie, i clapped when roger's eyes lit up. also, i think sally is gonna end up a cutter. of betty.
This was a top notch episode (perhaps my fav of the series so far). I WAS cheering for Joan when she stepped in the office and was laughing my ass off at the way she answered the phone in the hotel/office of SCDP.
Also, I for one was on the edge of my seating during the Draper Push-Around '09. I realize domestic abuse is not funny but I thought how he got her awake was dangerous but also hilarious (re-reading that, apparently I have issues).
@Mikeylikestv- I couldn't agree more. That and the PatricideWatch (which I will lobby till by dying day should be changed to the MatricideWatch) made me make sure I was around the tv 10pmEST every Sunday. What the hell are we going to do now with the Rankings and the Fingerbang Threat Level on hiatus?
@Lisanti- thank you so much for this, it really made the show that much more awesome this year. However, no Cobra In a Basket "Not Ranked" (although mentioned previously)?
1) I did actually cheer when Joan strutted in
2) I immediately thought of the FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS connection as well.
ah the week 13 power rankings. a lovely bow atop an excellent season for all. i did laugh out loud when joanie said the new name. bravo mark.
This is the only season so far where the finale has been far and away the best episode.... and may I say, THANK GOD because we needed it.
Yes, anyone who wasn't cheering when Joan walked in is obviously dead inside and probably kicks puppies.
Also: Index Draper would have been a brilliant Halloween costume. There's always next year, I suppose.
I enjoyed the Power Rankings as always.
I didn't get the "Joan Austin" reference in Betty's letter though. Was it a major typo, a comment on Betty's spelling skills, a sign that she's never really read Jane Austen, or a real life 1960's romance novelist so obscure that my Google search couldn't find her?
I'm going to miss these! I look forward to them every week.
Henry comes across as really smarmy and possessive. Betty is going from one crappy marriage to another.
I most certainly let out a whoop when Joanie sauntered into the room like a cleaner ready to fix everything. What an amazing episode. All of the pieces just fell into place, and I didn't even see them falling.
I'll miss the power rankings greatly. And I chuckled every time I even thought of the 'Don Draper Fingerbang Threat Level'. That is brilliant.
"Sometimes, the best fingerbanging is the one you never give."
you ain't never lied lisanti, you ain't never lied
Great Roger line when they're leaving and Don's about to lock the door. Great finale.
Betty is just a dumb blonde so to speak.
Great series of columns!
So good.
So where does the next season start? A year later? Where can they go from here? I'm hoping far enough into the 60s where Vietnam, the start of hippies, and race riots explode. 65?
My predictions:
Don will be shacked up with someone completely new.
He and Betty will have hot-extra-ex-marital sex at some point, no? Fingerbetty'd.
The wardrobes will change.
Cooper will have expired.
Joan's hubby deployed to Vietnam.
Sally will run away.
Great episode, great Power Ranking.....woe is me...what am I gonna do without you Lisanti?
Is Joan not "up" because it's been such a down year for her in general? I know it would've been completely ridiculous, but I was hoping she would *also* be made a partner. Who didn't cheer when she showed up? I want names because a new agency needs a new fingerbang to-do list.
And yes, Don needs a few months to rest those fingers, because the single (and loving it) Don Draper will push them to their very breaking points in the months to come.
Mark, thank you for a season of my favorite Internet column ever.
I knew it was coming, but still: when mildly exasperated Lane Pryce said "We don't know how any of this works", I jumped up and shouted at the TV, "I know someone who knows how it works!"
Cheers, Mr. Lisanti, for excellently enhancing the enjoyment - cheers.
So obvious it was going to be Joan the moment Roger went to make a phonecall. Great episode though, annoyed at having to wait [x] time until the next season 🙁
I found that getting on any type of cable machine, seated or standing, and doing one arm fly's across your body. This allows you a greater range of motion since instead of stopping and meeting hands in the middle, you can continue across your whole body. Alternate right, left, right, left, etc.
I drop a comment when I especially enjoy a article on a site
or if I have something to add to the conversation. Usually it is a result of the fire communicated
in the article I looked at. And after this post Mad Men Power
Rankings, Week Thirteen: ?Well, Gentlemen, I Suppose You?re Fired.? - Movieline.
I was actually moved enough to create a thought :
) I do have a few questions for you if it's okay.
Could it be just me or do a few of these responses come
across like they are left by brain dead individuals?
😛 And, if you are writing on other online social sites, I'd like to follow anything fresh you have to post.
Could you make a list all of all your shared sites like your Facebook page,
twitter feed, or linkedin profile?