Jessica Biel Quite Attached to F*cking

· In news that will launch 1,000 headlines even worse than the one above (and millions more aroused fanboy daydreams), Jessica Biel has signed up to co-star in F*cking Engaged. The raunchy comedy follows a couple that decides to have sex every day leading up to their wedding, hoping to avoid their parents' complacency and tweak the MPAA into an unnecessary ratings controversy that will stir press ahead of the inevitable festival debut and help move thousands and thousands more unrated DVD's and maybe even be funny. In any case, every straight male actor in town will have requested a reading of this by lunchtime. [THR]

Tony Scott meets the Chippendales, Vera Farmiga meets Keanu Reeves, and more Hollywood Ink after the jump.

· This is kind of fantastic: Tony Scott is attached to direct a biopic of Steve Banerjee, the founder of the Chippendales dance troupe whose life dissolved in a tailspin of drugs, paranoia and conspiracy. No further details are available, but for the record, the real Banerjee is dead and is not this guy on Facebook, so please don't go friending him this morning with congrats and/or other well-wishes. [Variety]

· Vera Farmiga and James Caan have signed on for Henry's Crime, joining Keanu Reeves in a romantic comedy about a man falsely accused of bank robbery. It shoots this winter in Buffalo, N.Y. Neither element sounds too conducive to humor, but Anvil! director and The Terminal screenwriter Sacha Gervasi penned the script, so hey. Maybe 10 below Fahrenheit can be sweet and side-splitting. [Variety]

· On the other hand, Anne Heche's casting as the female lead in Ed Helms's comedy Cedar Rapids promises hilarity on its face. Or at least another spellbinding Letterman appearance. [Variety]

· Another day, another C-Word casting update: Oliver Platt is aboard to play the husband of Laura Linney's cancer-stricken teacher. [THR]