Terrible News: J-Lo Mockumentary May Never See Light of Day

How I Married Jennifer Lopez: The J-lo and and Ojani Noa Story is described by its makers -- that would be Noa himself, who was married to Lopez from 1997 to 1998, and producer Ed Meyer -- as a "Borat-style mockumentary" in which the obsessed ex-Mr. Lopez chases down his former wife in the name of unrequited love (read: parasitic profile augmentation). This wouldn't be the first time Noah had attempted to cash in on Lopez's notoriety -- a planned tell-all book about their time together was met in 2007 with an injunction preventing the Cuba native from "licensing, disseminating, distribution... any book manuscript or other written materials which contain private or intimate details about Lopez or Noa's relationship with Lopez." By framing the film as a parody, however, producers thought they had found the perfect loophole.

Of course Lopez's lawyers didn't quite see eye-to-eye on that finer point, and promptly issued another C&D. Talking to The Wrap, Noa said: "The whole movie is about me coming to this country and getting my dream shut down by somebody who I thought was a good person. I was in totally in love with her. I gave my soul to her. It wasn't my fault she shared it with 3 people. I was angry." Just a short dozen years later, Noa still feels the sting of Lopez's free-loving ways.

Meyer, meanwhile, replied with a C&D of his own, writing back, "You do know that not one person prevailed in any of the Borat lawsuits, and you won't prevail against this film. Your one letter didn't offset the dozens of major distributors who wrote and called me yesterday and today, wanting to distribute this film sight unseen in two weeks at the American Film Market."

Precedent suggests the deck is stacked heavily against Mr. Noa and his various, Lopez-related creative pursuits -- a shame, really, as it suggests that all the awesome footage of him standing outside the gates of her Miami compound, begging the actress and singer to use him as her "personal, Cuban chaise lounge," might never find its way into theaters.

· Exclusive: Lopez Demands That Ex Shut Down Film About Her [The Wrap]