Mad Men Power Rankings, Week Eleven: 'This Name Is Poisoned'
Eleven down, just two more to go. Go grab your own shoebox full of secret, bring it here, and then let's all move on to this week's Power Rankings together while rummaging through the evidence of our deceptions, shall we?
2. Betty Draper (even) Last week: 2
So. Betty. What to do about the Backstory Box, now that your husband stood you up for the boozy confrontation you'd hoped to have shortly after discovering it in his locked desk drawer? (Again, dear readers, we cannot stress enough the importance of keeping a box full of your deepest, darkest, possibly life-destroying secrets in some kind of secure, off-site location. Bury it under a tree two towns over, if you're suspicious of banks and safety deposit boxes, but get that box out of the house.) Of course, you can head out of town for a sit-down with the family lawyer, who, perhaps unsurprisingly, will tell you to give your marriage another shot. He doesn't hit you, right? Because, sure, you could always file for divorce, if you could prove infidelity (pause for a knowing smirk as Don's every sexual indiscretion comes flooding back), but then he might wind up with the kids anyway, you'd have to sell Gene's house to pay for the whole ordeal, and then where would you be, best case scenario? Staring out the window, taking languid drags off a cigarette, the light in your eyes growing ever dimmer with each unsatisfying puff, listening to the three screaming children no other man -- no better man, no more honest man -- is going to want anything to do with, no matter how pretty you might be. Single and 30-something with a family in 1963 is no better than dead, you know that. That's what Milton the lawyer will tell you.
Go home, give it another shot. Get the drop on Don, who won't be expecting you, can't dodge you this time. Make him explain. Make him cry. You have the upper hand.
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Comments
This week Roger finally earned the #3.
I still think we need a MatricideWatch to go along with the PatricideWatch. Betty isn't going to want Sally to comfort her the way she answers the phone.
Ponies, its made of ponies people!
don draper is like a reverse tony montana, even when he is telling you the truth, he's lying.
I was stuck waiting for the big Alpo reveal.
These should be printed, bound and included with the season three DVD/Blu-Ray Set. And I'd like to ask you to please go back and do power rankings for all the season one and two episodes. The Movieline Mad Men Power Rankings are why the Internet was invented.
I'd like to request that you use a new photo of Sally -- maybe it's just the chin angle, but this one smacks disturbingly of Shelley Winters. May I suggest a new photo of her in her gypsy finery?
I laughed so hard at Miss Farrell being left in the car all night.
I agree with Busterbluth!! Please, please, please, go back and do the power rankings for the previous two seasons! A dvd insert would be great...I bet you would get offered a position at Sterling Cooper in the Creative Department reporting directly into Don! You would fit right in!
I've been meaning to archive both this "Mad Men" column and the one at "The Onion" to hardcopy, so that in the future I would be able to reread the reviews after watching old episodes on disc. If earlier episodes could be written up here also that would bookend the series so nicely.