Parental Guidance Suggested
There wasn't a lot left to the imagination this week at Movieline, which has spent much of the last several days in a bitter ratings war with the shadowy body that oversees tastemaking bodies such as ours. While that wasn't resolved by the close of business today, you have the next two days (at least) to judge our content and mission for yourself -- as it should be. Start with the stories after the jump, and have a terrific weekend!
· Accidental Werewolf Week unfolded as New Moon besieged us with bad CGI and Taylor Lautner's werepenis, The Wolfman introduced its latest trailer, and moviedom's lamest werewolves convened in our conference room for a summit.
· Among the luminaries who paid us a visit this week, we welcomed Bill Murray, Mike White, Diablo Cody, Carey Mulligan and Lone Scherfig, Tobin Bell, Adam Goldberg, Dominic Cooper, Sara Rue and Rocky Carroll. And we eavesdropped on a gabby Bronson Pinchot.
· Some of this week's burning questions: What's up with Zach Galifianakis and Arby's? What will be the next great TV show inspired by a T-shirt? And how does "persistent genital arousal disorder" stack up against past SNL Weekend Update afflictions, anyway?
· Would-be Tarzan Dewet Du Toit and Marge Simpson's nipples occupied opposite sides of our New Discoveries spectrum.
· Just when you thought the Roman Polanski case might be slowing down, it Just. Kept. Coming.
· 2012 had a strong, unlikely showing itself with Adam Lambert's moving love theme and music video. The schlocky knock-off is on the way, of course.
· Caprice Crane offered up a new One-Page Screenplay, Cross Road Blues.
· The Boondock Saints reinforced its cult status with a sequel, and Dolemite joined the ranks of Bad Movies We Love.
· Mad Men (and its requisite Power Rankings), Project Runway and The Hills all came fully condensed from our spiffy recap machine.
· New trailers for Old Dogs and Serious Moonlight were subject to the Two-Minute Verdict.
· The Balloon Boy story crashed hard after takeoff.
· Spike Jonze's new movie found a welcoming, responsive young audience. Where the Wild Things Are didn't do too badly, either
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Comments
What is it with our Sordid Mentality.
Emphasis on a Penis ---- Vulgar Sewer burps from frustrated stars that think they are the cat's meow --- Filth of every degree in Violence --- Vulgarity --- Nakedness --- and anything which is in any way "Religious" is shunned and ridiculed.
WOW --- Thank you Hollywood.
The post office now must take down the "IN GOD WE TRUST " signs because it may offend a Godless ACLU Pervert that is trying to re-write history.
Thanks to the dip sticks in DC (We have elected by the way)--- we can't even change our oil without out a Dip Stick "ZARR" telling us how much oil we can use and how often to change it --- and from what Government Dy-Nasty company we must purchase it from. WOW !!! Thanks a lot.
Now we have this "Sports Writer" ding bat promoting a "Slutt" for every Sports Hero so they won't embarrass anybody for their Immoral Pervert conduct. ---- Wow --- Thanks a Lot. We Die --- that's a given -- where we go is a decision ---- not an Opinion.
What is it with Hollywood?
Now a "Penis" is promoted ?
Sports writer suggested a "SLUTT" for "Imfamous" Sports Players instead of being fired or seriously disciplined from rules of some decency?
Wow --- thanks a lot.
Give Ole "Bob" a column - please!
Crap, the next COTW is sewn up already! Damn, Ole "Bob!" Way to make "Dip Stick ZARR" my new favorite holla.
You forgot your "Believe It or Not" signature ending you fucking shit stain.