9 Werewolves Lamer Than New Moon's Wimpwolf
Yesterday, the debut glimpse of a New Moon werebeast brought much-welcome laughter to a world wearied by Glenn Beck likening progressives to slave owners and worries about which network will finally hire Richard Heene once the helium clears. But, horrific and half-finished though the leapin' lycanthrope was, we have to admit it's not the worst wolfman we've seen. Here, then, from the Bad Movies We Love archives, a brief history of furry freaks.
1. I Was A Teenage Werewolf (1957)
The original explosion of hormones and hair, this introduced Michael Landon to the world. Doing his best James Dean, he's a rebellious adolescent turned into a beast by his high-school's wack-job doctor. Despite the title, which became synonymous with schlock, this is actually a decent little horror flick and packed with amusingly quaint "hipster" dialogue. But the same can't quite be said for Landon's werewolf, whose varsity jacket kinda detracts from his threatening vibe.
2. Werewolves On Wheels (1971)
The bike-exploitation cycle of the hippie era kicked up numerous far-out combinations -- from African-American moto-maniacs to biker molls doing it for themselves -- but none matched the weirdness of this one. A bunch of easy riders who call themselves The Devil's Advocates come unstuck when one of their mamas is cursed to become a werebitch by a bunch of Satanic monks. An outbreak of lycanthropy ensues in the gang. Makes a difference from lice, I suppose.
3. The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! (1972)
Staten Island schlockmeister Andy Milligan's films, while technically horror, were mostly misanthropic potboilers that reflect his own hatred of, well, pretty much everything and everyone. This one has his usual set-up featuring a dysfunctional family of nutjobs, who argue bitterly and seemingly endlessly. The big reveal? They're all werewolves. Which you might have gotten from the title.
4. The Werewolf Of Washington (1973)
And Me Generation audiences thought they had problems with Nixon in the White House! This stars Dean Stockwell as a presidential aide who, when the moon if full, menaces everyone from ladies in phone booths to the Commander in Chief himself. Meant as a parody of The Wolf Man, and a dig at the then-embattled Tricky Dick, it succeeds as neither. Not much of a showcase for werewolf makeup, either, though the white fur's an unusual touch.
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Howling II is great for one reason: The end credits have Sybil Danning ripping her top off over and over on a loop. Somebody in post earned their money on this one.
If you know anything about the books, you would know they are NOT werewolves, they are shape shifter, they turn into a wolf not a werewolf.
Please know what you are talking about before you post something!!!!
Werewolf can turn people into werewolf by a bite or a scratch.
They are not able to do this!!!
The creature in New Moon you refer to is not a werewolf - a creature part wolf part human, possibly, that stands erect like a man. These creatures are simply wolves. Granted, they are described at horse-height, but on physical characteristics other than size, they are simply wolves.
I looked up the clip you refer to, and for the life of me, I can't figure out what is "wimpy" or laugh-worthy about these wolves. Details, please, because so far, you've compared apples to oranges (well, maybe apples to apple pies, if you will), so your article is what's laugh-worthy here considering your ignorance of the story.
Seriously, "articles" like this one infuriate me. You clearly don't know your stuff, because the werewolves in Twilight are not exactly the same as your average wolf. First and foremost, they are shape-shifters, not werewolves that transform during the full moon. Secondly, they are able to transform incredibly swiftly.
I know that it's fashionable to bash Twilight if all of your buddies do it, but at least have your research, moron.
Furthermore, the Twilight wolves are just that: wolves. They aren't traditional werewolves. They are shapeshifters that assume the form of a wolf from their tribe.
Please do your research before you jump on the anti-Twilight bandwagon.
Haha! Dimo Dimo, you are dead right about the end credit sequence. Sybil's boob baring is repeated 17 times, in fact! I asked the director Philippe Mora about it, and he said he did it 5 times but the producer went beserk and added another 12 of his own in.
Genius.
Ohhhh! I see. . . Shape shifters, not Werewolves. . . Hmmm. . .
THAT'S EVEN LAMER!!!!!
Translation of above comment> "Furthermore, I am going to repeat my first post but in different words."
That's awesome!
There are no wolves in Twilight. They're only in New Moon and the other two.
Please do your research before obsessively googling any blog that mentions the Meyerverse and rushing to defend it in an obsequious manner.
This is hilarious. Google alerts you've done it again.
Twlilight fans share much in common with Australians, or so it seems.
Whats up with these people defending New Moon. Just because they are "REAL WOLVES" not were wolves does not make them any less crappy.
All this steam-blowing about New Moon is a bunch of bologna. You know why? Because a werewolf is a person that can turn into a wolf. That's it, that's all there is to it, show's over folks. You can add all the fluff and extra crap to that definition you want, but it still doesn't change the definition. Soooo the characters in New Moon can definitely be called werewolves. The author herself did so many times until she changed her mind right there at the very end of the series, stupidly.
(And psssst... they're more "traditional" than anything Hollywood dreamed up Chaney Jr. and beyond. Go read up on your mythology.)
Remember Sleepwalkers?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2rjEimMbfY
His car can SHAPESHIFT! Which seems to piss off all the cats in the World!! I am drenched in the awesomeness of it all. . .
Please, please. Let them call them anything other than werewolf. You're doing werewolves a monstrous disservice by associating them with anything remotely related that that hack-job Meyer and her Halloween teenage drama.
Actually, werewolves are just shape shifters who can shift between human and wolf form whenever they please. It's the movies and the such that have them becoming half human and half wolf.
http://www.mythicalrealm.com/legends/werewolf.html
In all honesty, who really cares about the real definition of a werewolf or not? All it comes down to is the whole thing is a pile of pidgeon excrement. A whimsical and somewhat perverse "love story", written by a strange woman who wishes she was young, and obviously wants to be spit-roasted by a pedophile werewolf and a vampire (who, going by the 2567654356556353362 references to the word 'chargrin' is always a bit miffed, and somewhat humiliated). Why anyone can honestly obsess over this poor excuse for literature is beyond me, it practically secretes and oozes desperation, which is blatantly displayed in her lack of imagination for adjectives.
What it boils down to, is that I wouldn't wipe my ass with this literary cock-up, and any such "Twihards" who think differently, need to pull their heads out of their asses, realise that real people are not "R-PATZ", Taylor Lautner, a vampire or a freaking werewolf, and get on with life. It's repulsive.