Mad Men Power Rankings, Week 10: 'Enjoy The World As It Is, Margaret. They'll Change It And Never Give You A Reason.'
Week Ten! We can see the home stretch from here, but as Matthew Weiner's bored, dissatisfied thoroughbreds gallop joylessly towards the finish line, they still have some time to stop along the way and couple with a filly to ease the existential angst of realizing that all they do with their lives is run in circles as fast as they can and never actually get anywhere. After the jump, your Mad Men Power Rankings:
1. Don Draper (even) Last week: 1
Don's world, so recently made topsy-turvey by a hippie grifter's blow and some friendly, intraoffice blackmail, seems to be stabilizing, for better or worse. The nastiness surrounding the Sterling Cooper contract he signed only when Bertram threatened to make our elusive anti-hero wear a "HI! NY NAME IS: DICK WHITMAN" badge to work each day was concluded when Lane Pryce tried to elicit a rare Draper smile by handing him a $5,000 bonus check. (Value in 2009 dollars: $4.3 million.) He once again has a mistress on retainer, curbing his appetite for uniformed service employees. He spent an entire episode unmolested by the insane whims of father-figure/billionaire nutbag Connie Hilton, who presumably was too busy sketching brownprints for his luxury lunar outpost with his own feces to send his adoptive "son" to the Bangkok Hilton to do QA work on its four-star ladyboy show. Lastly, Don was the shiny centerpiece of Sterling Cooper's 40th-anniversary-party-cum-agency-showcase, and on the receiving end of a gushing, insincere speech by bemused frenemy Roger Sterling. Things are good. (Ish.)
Stability, of course, is a fleeting thing. Especially when one's too-curious wife has stumbled upon a comically oversized pair of shears with which to snip the rope suspending the Shoebox of Damocles dangling over one's head and dump its contents all over one's temporarily semi-satisfying life. But that mess won't be dealt with until next week.
Don Draper Fingerbang Threat Level: Very low.
The Metro North to Grand Central is Don's sanctuary, a place where he can escape the cries of his rotten children, read the Times, and forget about his life of quiet, teacher-diddling desperation for 45 peaceful minutes. But Miss Farrell (he calls her that, because it's naughtynaughty to indulge in a bit of grade-school role-play) ignored their agreement not to be seen with him outside the normal parent/teacher context, and accosted him on his morning train. Don, visibly annoyed by this unwelcome intrusion, allowed her to take a seat next to him, but readied his fingers for an emergency insertion. Is this the moment when the whole thing goes sour, and she starts with the hang-ups, the drive-bys, the embittered love-notes scribbled on the back of Sally's geography homework? His hand, ready for upskirt deployment to preempt any threat to his family the moment she showed a sign of making the turn toward stalker, crept toward the space between their seats. But then: Farrell's own hand clamped down on his, she intertwined her delicate digits with his bruising, panty-shredding ones, and all threat of a mistress-taming fingerbanging dissipated. These were just two lovers, stealing a moment together out in the open, among all the other soul-dead breadwinners daydreaming about nailing their kid's hot teacher.
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Comments
1) i am perplexed as to why you are ignoring sally's urge to turn on her mother who verbally berates her at least once an episode.
2) mother sterling is the shit.
As much as I actually like Betty as a character (and let's face it, January Jones can wear the hell out of a dress), I don't think she understood what she found at all. The divorce certificate was all she really noticed. The Dick/Don thing went completely over her head (or at least would be par for the character).
When/if Duck's firm buys Sterling Cooper, I hope we are treated to the clothes-chomping vs. fingerbanging showdown Lisanti teased us with in Week Seven.
Also, kudos on Agamemnon the Window-Washer.
There were safety-deposit boxes in 1963, but they were only used by the kind of guy that doesn't really want, deep-down, to be found out. You know, the same kind of guy that would never leave the secret-drawer keys in his dressing gown pocket, at home with his bitter, suspicious, bored wife, who does all the laundry (despite having a maid).
I hope that crazy teacher gets off the show soon.
Joan? Joan?! Joan?!!!
Next week, I guess.
I would say the winner of the week is Lois. That woman cannot be fired.
Not mistaken. Paul did indeed unbuckle his trousers to polish his Knob of Inspiration. Right after he got out the mock-up artwork (with model) for his failed "Jackie/Marilyn" campaign. And what appeared to be 3 hotel towels, though surely only one would do (but who knows?)
I think you're way overstating Don's stabilization. His mistress is getting clingy and too emotionally involved (it so was her who called and hung up, I think). Betty is poised to confront him about his secrets (even if, as Dollywould says above, she doesn't fully grasp all of them). Plus Sterling Cooper will likely be sold, putting his career in jeopardy once again. The storm clouds are rolling in for old Don.
Correction: According to the U.S. Department of Labor's inflation calculator, $5,000 in 1963 is roughly the equivalent of $35,300 in 2009 dollars, not $4.3 million. Just sayin'.
You're new here, huh? FYI, it's usually Hyperbole Central. No worries.
I was definitely bracing for Paul to be 'Sterling-ing his Cooper'
Is Sal's wife still hanging around? Back in those days, you could bet that if a guy got axed and his wife worked in the same place (unusual enough), they'd find a way to off her too. And, is she the woman in the Progressive Insurance ads? I know she was one of the switchboard operators a couple of seasons back, is that her?
Was it just me, or did anybody else start screaming "What's in the box, what's in theee boxxx??" when Betty raided Don's soul locker?
I have been reading your blog and I like the writing. Thailand has some of the greatest dining in the world. All other food seems to be bland in comparison to Thai food. I sure miss Bangkok.