Great Moments In Development: Chasing The Balloon Boy

"So he lived."

"He lived. He was hiding in a box in the attic the whole time because his parents yelled at him or something."

"I like it. More."

"And the whole deal might've been a hoax set up by the nutty storm-chasing dad."

"Like that less. We'll throw that out."

"Throw it out? Everyone knows that's how--"

"'Based on actual events' buys us a lot of leeway. We could put a talking panda in the balloon with him if we want."

"But he wasn't in the balloon."

"Says Wolf Blitzer. But maybe he's in our balloon. Maybe his mean parents shout at him, and he runs up into the attic, and he crawls into a Kenmore refrigerator box..."

"...Product placement, nice..."

"...and the next thing you know, he's floating away over the Rockies in a magical balloon that looks like a tinfoil chef's hat, to the...Land of the Talking Pandas, who never shout at him."

"Talking pandas? Um, I think DreamWorks has talking giraffes in the pipe."

"Excuse me? This is motherf*cking Disney. We invented talking animals. One phone call to Steven and those long-necked p*ssies are muter than Pluto."

"Right, of course."

"So the talking pandas."

"They teach Balloon Boy lessons. Like how to trust your imagination, which is why they shouted at him, because he finger-painted all over their new refrigerator."

"Mandi, are you f*cking getting this?"

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