College to Retrofit Late Show Interns for Maximum Chastity

We're used to an early taste of David Letterman's monologue jokes these days, but this ripped-from-the-headlines laffer got a nearly 24-hour head start on tonight's Late Show. Wait, what? It's not a joke? There actually is a college that went public with its plans to safeguard its students from the show's assistant-diddling host?

Indeed -- that would be Quinnipiac University, a school that would prefer to remain best-known for producing authoritative political polling data as opposed to a wayward crop of nubile Dave-warmers. "Due to recent circumstances we will have a discussion with those in charge of placing our interns at the David Letterman show in the future," a QU rep told TMZ late Monday. "We will diligently oversee this internship program to ensure that our interns are out of harm's way."

You can't fault the sentiment, even if those resources might be better applied to vetting the desperate 48 Hours producers those interns rebound with. Either way, America, salute this bold new step. And of course, watch tonight's Late Show for Dave's self-effacing, Clinton-invoking comment on the matter.

· College to Letterman: Don't Touch Our Interns! [TMZ]