Mad Men Power Rankings, Week 9: 'When I Say I Want The Moon, I Expect The Moon'
5. Henry Francis (up) Last week: 7
"Darling Betty,
I was so very glad you were clever enough to find my address and inquire as to whether any Snoops read my mail, so that we could initiate this correspondence as a heady prelude to our eventual lovemaking. I must, however, express some disappointment that you responded to my absence at our erotic fund-raiser like a spurned harridan; I thought I made myself perfectly clear when I explained that it is you who needs to come to me because you are a married woman, and I could never forgive myself if we first consummated this affair in your marital bed. I may be a dashing cad, but I do observe a certain protocol when preying upon disillusioned housewives. But I do apologize for not having proper coital accommodations here in my office; a woman of your class and beauty does deserve better than to be taken atop my desk, among staplers and decorative fountain pens and what-have-you. I know that you've said you can't go through with this, but I am a patient man. Eventually, your husband will disappoint and frustrate you, you'll be reminded of the fabulous life your rotten, rotten children are denying you, and I will be waiting. Here in my office, where I will have set up a magnificent four-poster bed, despite the strange appearance such an object might have in a place of work. And I will be wearing a helmet, ready to absorb the brunt of your hurled passion.
With warmest regards, H~~#"
6. Sally Draper (down) Last week: 5.
Sally to Carla: "I said I don't want a salad!"
Sally Draper PatricideWatch: And with that sly misdirection that momentarily made Mommy turn her eyes to the housekeeper, young Sally Draper quietly concealed a salad fork in the lining of her dress, an implement she would later place in her hope chest, among the collection of razor-sharpened Barbie legs, lethally modified safety scissors, and other improvised weaponry she might one day -- perhaps soon! oh, so soon! -- plunge into Daddy's heart as he naps on the couch in front of a flickering television.
7. Salvatore Romano (up) Last week: unranked
When last we saw Sal...um, when was that exactly? When he suffered bellhoppus interruptus because of that fire alarm? When he inadvertently outed himself to Kitty when he was a little too spot-on with the Bye Bye Birdie choreography? In any case, Sal is back! And now he's gone, because a bullying, closeted cigarette-company scion had a "long, wet lunch" and decided to get handsy in a locked editing suite. Unfortunately, Sal decided to play the "I'm married" card with a man whose predatory gaydar was pinging like mad, a refusal that would prove (for now, at least) to be his undoing. Not even Don, the one person at the office who truly understands having a secret, would save him when he came clean about what had happened. Instead, Don expressed bafflement and disappointment that Sal wouldn't put out to save a $25 million account that "can shut off our lights," and with an ugly sneer of "you people" at his inconveniently principled director, sent Sal packing. Coldly. "I think you know this is the way it has to be. You'll do fine. And please, no sobbing when you're assembling your portfolio later. It's undignified."
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Comments
Dear Matt Weiner,
All I ask for is one (at least one!) scene of Carla going home after work and saying to her husband, "You would not believe what that dumb bitch said today."
Carla should be Top 10 this week. When it comes to her, one look says everything!
I love Carla, too! I would love to see a Carla-centric episode.
Since I think Don and Betty are in a dance of death, maybe they can spin off off Carla and the Draper kids into their own show...
Yes indeed, Dollywould. Carla had a "I know what's going on" look at Betty which deserves elaboration and illumination.
Also, I feel like Don should be "down". Maybe I'm taking it too seriously, but the finger banging of Sal was a bit much to take. If Don Draper is basically the ad man James Bond, he's dropped down to Roger Moore status in my rankings.
Carla could help Sally with the 'ol patricide! And add some matricide to the mix.
The write up still works, but it was Bobby that didn't want a salad.
First the blackmail by Bertram Cooper, then the shitcanning by Connie Hilton and THEN the humiliating dressing down from Roger Sterling.
Face it, the person getting the stiff middle finger firmly inserted these days is Draper. The fingerbanger gets fingerbanged by the game.
Seriously. Carla definitely should be ranked for clearly knowing that there was something more than "fundraising" going on between Betts and Francis.
Connie should be number one in the power rankings. Don should be number ten by now. The Betty letter was hilarious, though. The teacher has turned out to be a total disappointment.
I'm all about Carla. Trust me...you'll be ranking her soon enough. The time IS right for civil rights.
Where the hell is Joan? I'm ready for Betty and the Teacher to kill each other off in a knife fight. Short of that, those two character arcs are spent.
Right. And it was Sally that wanted to "go outside" when it was raining. Like we don't know that code.
CARLA. Why is Carla not #1. I watched the episode and afterwards, waited to read these power rankings to see where Carla would be. Carla knows ALL. Not only does Carla know all, Betty also knows that Carla knows all. That alone is why Carla should be #1. I'm glad that many others agree with me.
A carpenter makes use of a set of house plans to construct a house. If he didn’t the lavatory may get overlooked altogether.
The second best part of these, after the finger-bang threat level, is easily who IS NOT ranked every week.