Mad Men Power Rankings, Week 9: 'When I Say I Want The Moon, I Expect The Moon'
2. Betty Draper (even) Last week: 2
"Dearest Henry,
It was with great relish that I awaited this afternoon's mail delivery, knowing that the oddly Victorian correspondence we've recently undertaken as some kind of elaborate foreplay would escalate pleasingly as I tore open the envelope of your latest letter, breathed in the dizzying musk you've left on your stationery, and lapped up your words as if they were honey you'd drizzled all over my heaving bosom. I don't write many letters anymore, so I apologize in advance if I'm unable to accurately express my thoughts. but I do have thoughts. Lots of thoughts. Thoughts of a dashing, silver-maned, monied gentleman taking me away from my awful kids and inattentive husband before what's left of my beautiful soul is consumed by suburban ennui. Save me, Henry! We shall concoct a ruse! A fundraiser! And during this fundraiser, when all the ladies are snacking on finger sandwiches, we can sneak upstairs, where you can tear open my bodice and ravage me! Unless you somehow fail to show up to our fundraising rendezvous. In that case I shall show up to your office unannounced, heave a lockbox containing both political contributions and my frustrated desire at that stupid head of yours, and then refuse a conciliatory ravaging atop your desk, or on a couch, because such behavior would be irredeemably tawdry. On second thought, perhaps we can't do this. Write back, letters are fun!
Yours, B"
3. Roger Sterling (up) Last week: 4
If there's a person at Sterling Cooper who can rival Don Draper's talent for puppy-kicking, it's Roger Sterling. In one enraged fit, he dressed down affable doofus Harry Crane for not telling him about the Lee Garner Jr. Situation ("When you get in trouble, call Mommy and Daddy. Everyone's an account man. What exactly do you think we do here, Crane?"), shitcanned poor Sal, and dumped the whole $25 million mess into Draper's lap for salvaging. And later, he even upbraided Don for the seeming chaos originating from his side of the business. "We've had two clients in one week leave here angry. Important clients. Is that what you want this place known for? That and some guy losing his foot in a lawn mower? I'm going to put you on notice, you are in over your head." Rog has got some big brass ones, y'all.
4. Connie Hilton (up) Last week: 8
As we alluded to earlier, Connie Hilton is now officially a Crazy Person. He sees angels, adopts ad men, seeks to destroy Communism with the worldwide export of the American hospitality industry, and wants to colonize the moon. Next week, he'll torment Don by showing up in his office wearing a fish-bowl as a "space helmet," challenging his sometime-son to a duel with ray-guns made of crushed Patio cans, then collapse crying into Draper's arms, begging him to help the old man build a casino resort in the Sea of Tranquility catering to Martian sex-tourists.
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Comments
Dear Matt Weiner,
All I ask for is one (at least one!) scene of Carla going home after work and saying to her husband, "You would not believe what that dumb bitch said today."
Carla should be Top 10 this week. When it comes to her, one look says everything!
I love Carla, too! I would love to see a Carla-centric episode.
Since I think Don and Betty are in a dance of death, maybe they can spin off off Carla and the Draper kids into their own show...
Yes indeed, Dollywould. Carla had a "I know what's going on" look at Betty which deserves elaboration and illumination.
Also, I feel like Don should be "down". Maybe I'm taking it too seriously, but the finger banging of Sal was a bit much to take. If Don Draper is basically the ad man James Bond, he's dropped down to Roger Moore status in my rankings.
Carla could help Sally with the 'ol patricide! And add some matricide to the mix.
The write up still works, but it was Bobby that didn't want a salad.
First the blackmail by Bertram Cooper, then the shitcanning by Connie Hilton and THEN the humiliating dressing down from Roger Sterling.
Face it, the person getting the stiff middle finger firmly inserted these days is Draper. The fingerbanger gets fingerbanged by the game.
Seriously. Carla definitely should be ranked for clearly knowing that there was something more than "fundraising" going on between Betts and Francis.
Connie should be number one in the power rankings. Don should be number ten by now. The Betty letter was hilarious, though. The teacher has turned out to be a total disappointment.
I'm all about Carla. Trust me...you'll be ranking her soon enough. The time IS right for civil rights.
Where the hell is Joan? I'm ready for Betty and the Teacher to kill each other off in a knife fight. Short of that, those two character arcs are spent.
Right. And it was Sally that wanted to "go outside" when it was raining. Like we don't know that code.
CARLA. Why is Carla not #1. I watched the episode and afterwards, waited to read these power rankings to see where Carla would be. Carla knows ALL. Not only does Carla know all, Betty also knows that Carla knows all. That alone is why Carla should be #1. I'm glad that many others agree with me.
A carpenter makes use of a set of house plans to construct a house. If he didn’t the lavatory may get overlooked altogether.
The second best part of these, after the finger-bang threat level, is easily who IS NOT ranked every week.